Ok, for reals this time.

First thing: I got the job with Unysis as soon as I confirm it with them.

Second thing and really why there's yet another post today: Let's go back through the knowledge, philosophy and ACTUAL thought that I was trying to get at with a previous post. It hasn't gone live, but I'm not afraid of my mistakes nor do I want to lose that flavor there.

So here goes on my views on the greater meanings of love, etc.

To say it in the basest senes, love isn't something you do because you need it. At least it shouldn't be. You shouldn't love someone because you get something. Unless that something is love. But you still don't need it. Before I get off on the actual meat of this; love is something you GIVE, not something you TAKE.

So if we solely stick to that, if you love for anything but TO love then you're likely doing something wrong. So, loving for self-esteem issues? Right out. Loving because of the mundane or vain things? Nope, no gold diggers or sluts. That should be obvious. Loving because they complete you? No. I don't think so. But that is at least one of the least of my worries. Mainly you should be complete and acceptable to yourself BEFORE you try out this relationship thing. I'm not saying that works for everyone. But that is the golden rule of it I think. Because once you are secure with who you are, you could care less about everyone else. You could have one person, or no people. It doesn't matter to you. Because you aren't loving them because they want it, or you need it. You are doing it because you WANT TO. Because you love them. You could even care less if they loved you back. That's love. That's a big reason why I don't run around dating everything with a pulse. But not like you much care about that.

So why is loving multiple people wrong? That's a good question I suppose. But why would you need or want to? When you look at it, you really don't need to love even one person. I don't find anywhere in nature TRUE love existing with multiple partners. Excess always exists with GREED. What do we call GREED between human beings? Lust. Lust is a bodily greed. You are lusting over some of their features because you want it. All of these are base emotions because they are the simplest and strongest of them. Kids feel greed. Not wanting to share, wanting to get as much "stuff" as possible. If you have kids, or have ever shopped with kids, you should know that. The classic "Mommy/Daddy, I want one!". That's a base instinct. That's your kid wanting whatever he sets his eyes on simply because he felt a momentary reaction of "Hey, cool. That'd be neat." But you don't actually want it. Because if you did, you wouldn't discard it in any ammount of time (or your child, anyways, you know how it goes on Christmas. How long do those new toys last that they've pestered you about the whole year? Most of them don't survive the week.)

It's essentially the same thing with lust. You become greedy. You see a woman not in a respectful way (at least not for long) you see them as a piece of meat, or an ammusement ride. Once you've had your turn, you could care less. That's the extreme, of course, but that's where that sort of thing leads. Care to point out any successful multiple relationships? I know I haven't.

And now you've got the whole self-esteem issue. I personally would say that it's the biggest reason for young'ns failed relationships and bulk of relationships. That's my personal opinion. But find me a girl who wants to be with an insecure guy, or vice versa? Always clinging to you, always suspiscious because you just KNOW that they can't be faithful to you. Because you wouldn't be to yourself because you have no self love. Because you don't think you're worth "it". "It" is just a blank, but that's what it comes down to. And you not being worth "it" is the biggest piece of crap people swallow on a daily basis. But it comes down to a self fullfilling prophecy in a relationship that's foundation is low self-esteem. You think they are cheating on you, and you basically drive them away. Because those few moments apart, or whatever, drive you insane because of the worry. Thus driving them insane. Basically. So they don't want to be with you anymore. So they either end up cheating on you, or leave you, which are essentially the same outcome, that you break up. Doomed relationship.

Another one of the things that keep me from dating, really. First of all I'm not quite confident enough in myself. I need to get back to that. And secondly, anyone who might want it would need something from me. Which they shouldn't. Being together should be a thing of fun, beauty and love. All of those stemming from the latter and not from the fact that you are infatuated or lusting after the person. Not because you get to ride in their fast sports car or spend their money, but because you actually like being with them. Because you love them because you can, and not because they love you back.

That's what I feel love is about. Why do you need all of those other things? You don't really. And realizing that is the true victory in my opinion. Why's a new car nice to have? Because you don't have to worry about it breaking down all the time. Do you need it? I can tell you for a fact that you will survive just fine without it, whether you believe me or not. Same with anything else that you enter into relationships for. You don't need them. You have a biological urge that makes you want to procreate to pass on your DNA. You don't need that either. But you do need to fight it to make sure you do these things for the right reasons. All your basest of instincts and emotions care about is getting fulfilled. All greed, lust, and gluttony want is more. When they get that, they're fine. Your higher emotions like Love, don't need fulfilling. Their fulfillment is a gift. They give instead of take. Not because giving makes you feel better, but because you can. It's the only thing in the world that someone can't take from you. It's the only thing in the world that you can't buy. Well, that and they haven't commercialized oxygen yet...

But that's why it frustrates me to see it abused. Am I going to stop you? No. Can I? No. So what am I going to do about it? I just did it. It's my only weapon. I tell you how I see it, how I feel about it, and you take it or you leave it. I can't cram it down your throat, and that wouldn't work anyways. Did I make you read this just now? No, you read it all on your own. You'll understand it or not on your own, and you'll live by it or not on your own.

None of that can I do for you. And none of it would either of us really want me to be able to do.

That's how I see it. If you want to talk about it and pen something bigger, greater, or more correct then that, I'm all for it. But this is what I've come to realize in the last three months. Yeah, most of it's been there longer then that, but the actual purpose and evolution of it didn't really hit until about three months ago.

Anyways. Thanks for reading it if you did. Hopefully you actually get something out of it. Believe it or not, those eyes of yours are more than just light receptors. They're one of the primary ways to input knowledge.