Here I go...

Well I've been on here like three times now and didn't even get to the all important news.

I am a college man, now. None of this, "Oh, I'm admitted and that's it." None of this: "I'll register for classes tomorrow." No more holds, blocks, excuses, lack of funds or anything else that has kept me barred until today. IT IS DONE!

And I am at once again the most nervous and singly overjoyed that I have been, and yet nervous... I have waited all my life for this, I have schooled, prepared, learned, paid and dreamed of this moment practically for all my life. I have fought, bled, sighed, and all but died to make it come true. And at the last day, the day of decision where I HAD to know whether I was condemened to six more months of pergatory and stuper, I was liberated and thrust into something that I have dreamed of, and know nothing of. I will survive, but I couldn't tell you what will come of it.

"Here I go... Scream my lungs out..."

And yet it happens wholly unlike how I ever could have planned. For the first time in my life I will be missed. Not something as mundane as "We missed you at the movie." or something as limited. But I will be missed. People don't want me to go, and are worried they'll never see or hear from me again! What foolishness. And yet, I felt the same, and do feel the same. I haven't been so ready for tears in such a long time, so deserving and respectful. I make a new friend on the eve of my departure. Always it ends up such. Instantly bonding with someone who had been there for such a longer time, and yet whom I'm leaving as quickly as I found them.

Until I got into High School I had nevered worried about such frivilous things as to whether I would see someone again or not. I had always known this would come, had always known that people would leave me, and I would leave them. I never wanted to have anything to do with people at large, they'll serve a purpose of learning and momentary happiness, but long attachments bring frequent bouts of sadness. And I have yet to be proven wrong.

I'm convinced that my dreams and goals WILL come true. I will find what's best for me, or realize that I have always had it. I will charge head on into the unknown, perhaps a slight knot in the gut, but undaunted. I will face my challenges as always, as my adversary. Thanking them and shaking their hand as I finish wiping the walls with them and taking the knowledge with me.

My time is nigh. And I have paid much and waited long for it. I hope it is as much as I've dreamed.