Bigshot screaming, "Put your hands in the sky!"

First a joke that would make someone hit me or better:

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her
class, "Which human body part increases to ten times
its size when stimulated?" No one answered until
little Susie stood up, angry, and said, "You should
not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm
going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell
the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer
on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks
ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body
part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
Little Susie's mouth fell open, then she said to those
around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the
class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked
around nervously, and said, "The body part that
increases ten times its size when stimulated is the
pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good,
Billy," then turned to Susie and continued, "As for
you, young lady, I have three things to say:



One, you have a dirty mind,

Two, you didn't read your homework,

And three, one day you are going to be very, very
disappointed!"





And now, the most important phrases you could ever learn in English, French, and Spanish:

“I am a jelly donut.”



French: Je suis une butée torique de gelée.



Spanish : Soy un anillo de espuma de la jalea.



“Look! The soup is levitating!”

French: Regard ! Le potage fait de la lévitation !

Spanish: ¡Mirada! ¡La sopa levitating!




“I surrender!”

French: Je me rends





Now something philosophically challenging:

I finally found something that Mormons and I can agree on. Is it perfect? No, like many of my favorite songs and philosophies, it can be nearly perfect, and yet fall short of the mark. However, when adding my interpretation, I find it fits better to my ideas and ideals when certain parts are 'modified'.

What is this odd miracle?

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/a_of_f/1/13

Ironically, it actually links to the Mormon "Articles of Faith".

Notably, I would like to invoke Article 11 of this document (which I fondly refer to as the 'Nuclear Option' in appropriate contexts):

"11 We claim the aprivilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may."

Here by, invoking article 11 of the Articles of Faith, I reserve the right to worship how, where and when I see fit.

Therefore, I am reserving this argument for those of you that wish to force the issue, and I will be informing others of similar mind, weapons of knowledge need be shared with the willing, for the common defense against oppression in its various forms.

Next time you've tried having a tollerant or tollerable discussion and they bring up anything about how your faith isn't strong unless you're at church, or part of the priesthood, or any other bullshit, I hope you remember this.

Also, just in case you feel the need to read more, you can find an internet version of most of their documents (I have no idea how accurately represented they are, but it seems to be one of the church's sites) here:

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/contents

So there we go, one of the best things that I've learned all day.




That being said, some good news:

I am one of the six people that will be interviewed for the CRC Dell TL position tomorrow.

I can't hardly keep my excitement. It's truly something else. I'm sure I was the youngest to petition for the position and out of something close to 20, there are only to be 6 interviewed (as per the e-mails, anyways).

I will keep you posted on what happens. I'm trying to stay reserved, but my excitement is quite powerful.