"It's a blind fold kick back type of a game called the Kansas City Shuffle"

Indeed, a second post within hours and not days.

Time to pass the humor, but first some good quotes of the day, as per Google's personal home page quote module:

If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.
- Norman Douglas

Where facts are few, experts are many.
- Donald R. Gannon

^
Note the last name / |

The first one may be one of my new favorite quotes, if I didn't feel one of my readers would steal it right from under me.



Chuck:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris divides by zero.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.

When Chuck Norris exercises, the machine gets stronger.

Chuck Norris once killed a bird by throwing it off a cliff.

Chuck Norris' wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

Chuck Norris was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."

Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The only thing Mr. T, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris can agree on is that Tom Cruise is a faggot.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

The phrase, "You are what you eat" cannot be true based on the amount of pussy Chuck Norris eats.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in "Sidekicks" is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.

The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real, it's when he learns Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't kill me." Too bad Chuck Norris doesn't believe in magic.

There are no weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is Chuck Norris."

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris did that to Michael Jackson's face.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

Chuck Norris never loses a game of Clue despite the fact everyone knows he's the murderer and used his foot to do it

Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.

It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen.

The most honorable way of dying is taking a bullet for Chuck Norris. This amuses Chuck Norris because he is bulletproof.

The Jihadists are pissed because they can no longer tell their recruits to expect 73 virgins in heaven. The best they can do now is 73 women who have already had sex with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

When Chuck Norris answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

The best part of waking up is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

On Neil Armstrong's second step on the moon, he found a note that said, "Chuck Norris was here."

When Superman squeezes a lump of coal, he creates a diamond. When Chuck Norris squeezes a lump of coal, he creates an African child to work in his diamond mines.

Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30.

Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody has ever dared question his motives.

Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once gave Vin Diesel and friendly noogie. Vin's hair never grew back.

ADD is not a disease. It's just impossible to focus when you know that Chuck Norris could strike at any moment.

When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

Chuck Norris once broke a mirror on a black cat under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. That was the day he won the lottery.

The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Upon hearing that his good friend, Lance Armstrong, lost his testicles to cancer, Chuck Norris donated one of his to Lance. With just one of Chuck's nuts, Lance was able to win the Tour De France seven times. By the way, Chuck still has two testicles; either he was able to produce a new one simply by flexing, or he had three to begin with. No one knows for sure.

Little kids enjoy lighting ants on fire with magnifying glasses. Chuck Norris enjoys lighting little kids on fire with ants. Scientists have yet to find out how this feat is achieved.

Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapons with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow too.




And now for something completely different:

I feel like I have things to share and say, but I can't get my words to come.

A side affect of a month (or two) without posting?

I am very much hoping to be interviewed for TL, but I find it disconcerting to be going against a friend or two and co-workers that I know personally.

It'd be interesting for innumerous reasons to get the job, but I can't help feeling that there will be an age bias invoked, written, stated, or otherwise.

I'm only 20, I can't have the 8 years of professional experience some of these jobs are looking for. So the challenge is not getting that experience, it's proving that I could do the job better than someone who has 16 years or more (note it's a doubling of 8, not a reference to the fact that easily half of these people are twice my age, not to mention that I am by far the youngest candadite - to my knowledge).

I believe I could, but my beliefs are irrelevant.

What I do find a comfort is that for the last two weeks Mike has made at least two attempts to have me apply for SSR1 positions - that's a Team Lead in simpler terms and the equivalent of a shift lead or minor manager/supervisor in lamen's terms.

I find it re-assuring when the 'boss-man' holds that level of confidence.

Just to make someone without that experience understand and appreciate what I can offer.

It shall be an interesting experience anyways.