Snow and Life.

Today's not a good day. I've been staving off the vibes for at least a month now, but it's finally taken it's toll. I'm managing to be angry at everything and nothing today in a slueth of pent up, baseless, frustrations. I can't shake them, and I don't know why. I can only think that in some twisted way, I don't want to get over them...

So on the way home from my continued attempt to rid myself of my not so pleasant past, I came up with a wonderful and dark analogy for life: Snow. Or more specifically water. Taking today as an example, the snow is falling again after a nearly month long interlude. Some people would rejoice, and I did this morning until my own storm set in. But what people aren't realizing is the obvious. It's covering up the dirty snow. I guess that could be taken as a redemption theme, but the dirt is still there. It's not washed away, it's buried. I am beginning to think that is how the world opperates, like with the majority of people. We just bury the dirt until we soil ourselves again and start to burrying again... I have specific examples, but I'm trying to divert my mood by posting here. But think about the ice, too. It's perfect, you trapse along on the fresh snow of the sidewalk, all pure and unassuming, and what happens? It turns to ice. And when you come by and do what you did earlier, you fall on your ass. You just continue putting pressure on something until it turns to ice and then, WHAM, you're on your ass wondering what you ever did to deserve that. Ironic, huh?

I'm only buying into half of the garbage I'm spewing here, but stop and think about it next time your gallavanting through the snow. There are consequences for every action, good or bad; seen or unseen.

Like one of the pebbles in my mountainous mood was an article in the Statesman, the campus paper. They printed (their opinion) an article on Valentine's Day and it's bad press with "loners" on how it's all their fault that they should lower their standards because no one cared. I nearly screamed when I read that. I'm not one of the "losers" or "downers" that hates Valentine's DAy, I just sit and smirk at people spending thousands of dollars on a tiny ring. I know, I might be one of those someday, but hopefully not. If I have to do that for love then it isn't worth it. I give mine freely, shouldn't the return be true? I know that some of you do it to symbolize, and that's grand for you, but everything is different. Anyways, I have half a mind to send them a letter on the subject. It's a childish sort of elitistness that you think you'd escape from. Instead of them telling you that there's still hope, they tell you to lower your standards, I just love people, don't you?

I'm mainly venting because I'm ours away from my nearest friends. None of this is really directed at anyone in particular, but it's something that I needed to say... And it helped a little bit, but now I need to go to work... I'll know it's really bad if I'm still angry at work, because that almost never happens... Anyways, I'll be my normal self tomorrow, probably... Charming or otherwise.