'Bout that time again.

I suppose it's about the time that I should be getting frustrated with everything.

Everything's going great in my life, but not in anyone elses (at least not that I've heard). Broken pieces? No sweat. I've got my glue bottle all ready to go, but no one is willing to let me help. Makes me wonder why I bother. It's rather a catch-22. I don't worry about myself, I worry about others, and it only gets worse when they lie to me or I can't help about it...

Don't worry, you needn't worry about the smiling, joking, gent. He'll survive as always, but I wonder again what would happen if I simply dis... appear...

But a reader of mine had to snag me back to life. An enticing offer that they could hardly imagine, or perhaps time is all that was needed?

I don't know. This is why I hate being intelligent. It's something that "everyone" respects as a quality, it's supposed to help so much, but it's by and large a curse. With great power comes great responsibility, but people won't just sit back and accept help will they? Does that make me worry less? Hardly.

We're leaving tonight for new memories of new family. I just got back from costing the family quite a large and shiny penny because of my "fever" which was a false alarm, a waste of time energy and money. But I knuckled down and there's a sigh of relief, I suppose. But this is why I don't go. It's been so long since my last visit that they didn't even have me on file. I don't go because it's nothing that I alone can't handle. It's nothing that needs to cost so much, be such a pain. It's a hassle to me and my parents. I just don't like any of it.

But I have enough pills to take in a morning to choke a horse (ok, it's not the number seeing as there's only two, it's the size)...

Forgotten: If I ever figure you out I think I would die thinking that I accomplished something. I don't think you have half an idea of how frustrating you are in my mind. How little you correspond to a logical model of anything but complete chaos, and yet somehow not only do you exist, but you survive as calculated chaos.

And now that I've introduced my own variable to make you think and make you sweat, I will be cruel and depart for the mother land. I will return someday... It's the only thing I know: limbo.