California here I come, right back where I started from.

Great gravy this one is going to be a long post. If you haven't yet, and you comment on this blog here directly (by signing in), please read For Your Inconveniance down below this one. It will explain why you get pissed off at me after you try to comment here if you are a living, breathing, person. If you're a bot, kindly piss off. Thank you.

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No, I'm not in a bad mood, I just don't have very much respect for artificial lifeforms that mindlessly harass you. Especially to the detriment of innocent REAL people.

If you haven't noticed yet, I am back, yes I do know that you did that, and I will be with you momentarily.

This one is going to be a whopper. And because I'm a lazy ass, I'm going to do my little partition thing instead of making you hunt down (and destroy) multiple posts about my weekend. Feel free to send your homemade bombs to:

An Empty Field
123 Fake Street
The Moon.

Mark it as "Care of Homemade Explosives".

Thanks.

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Now on to the real post(s):

Unfortunately I couldn't really find it in myself to write at the time things were going down and stuffs were happening, so you'll get whatever I remember and just happen to drool onto the keyboard (oddly enough, my computer has had the keyboard outfitted so that it can tell what I'm thinking simply by measuring the acidity of my drool).

First things first: The paradox of my unlce's age.

We realized this weekend (my brother and I) that our Uncle John is the only person that seems to get younger with age. He looks like he's in his early to mid twenties but he's actually 34. Do you understand this number? (Sorry, The Last Samurai). We had to get his age from him, his wife, and a couple of other people, independantly, before we even thought about believin it. No freakin' way. I still don't believe it, really. The interesting part is that I am his doppleganger (if you ask anyone else. I can see similarities in everything, but I don't think that I look all that much like him, just my insider's perspective). Like seriously, the Best Man was actually confused about how my uncle had shown up so late, dressed in a completely different suit, and in a mysterious car before he had realized that he was STILL STANDING next to my uncle. The comments were comming so fast that we had joked about me escorting my new aunt into the reception to see if anyone would know the difference.

Since I'm on the new aunt subject, here we go:

I finally got to meet her, if only to see her for a moment, on Friday night. We were so late that it's not even funny, major bummer indeed. I started joking that our gift to the newlyweds was that we were absorbing all of the latent bad luck in the state of California...

Right, so the Aunt. Aunt Christina is a very nice lady. She's gorgeous (shh... I'm related now so no comments), she actually gives me hope that I can look like my uncle (heh) and wind up with someone that won't make me regret it for the rest of my life. She's sweet, but short. Like in height, not blunt. And she's todally and completely in love with my uncle. He looked nervous as sin, totally, but she almost never stopped smiling and was completely there and in the moment.

Oh, and it doesn't hurt that her family is rather wealthy. I'm kidding a bit, but they are. The family is actually really nice folks. They're all catholic (as near as I can tell) and thus the wedding was catholic. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but A) I realized that it was the first ACTUAL SERVICE that I have ever sat through (I'm grumbling at you Alissa) - though I have been to a small church (two different ones in different states now) and the Cathedral of the Madeline. It was odd because they split us like normal, one family line on one side, the other accross the isle. And you could definately tell who was in which family. Apparently the people on our side are either protestant or some other form of heathen (heh) because you are supposed to say certain things and cross yourself at certain times and we always got looks, and looked at each other like "WTF are we supposed to be doing?" Eventually I stopped trying because I didn't want to offend, and I was only doing it to be a part of it, and not for any other real reason. But it's something I will have to do again, if I ever again get a free Sunday. I always new that the Catholics were very much into their ceremonies, but this hit the ball out of the park. The actual members were on top of things like they had been practicing for ever, and I suppose they had...

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A commical interlude, of sorts:

Came up with a new horrible pun. I think I might be willing to rent it out to you science teachers if you ask (and henceforth this is copywritten and if you ever use it without me getting proper credit and I hear about it, you will get a dirty look at best).

Sherlock Ohms and Watts-on. Yes, Phear the Reaper. Bwahaha. Now that you've finished groaning in pain...

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I was again struck by the incompetence of the media this weekend. It hurt actually, tell them to stop throwing things, will you?

I was watching a report on Katrina, again, and found it striking that in the first day of searching only 300 of an estimated 10,000 people were found dead. Now I understand that it was only the first day of searching and that about 60% of the city might have still been "under water" (probably counting even where it's as shallow as your shins), but it seems to me that you would find MORE or at least MOST OF your dead on the FIRST day. Then you will find the less obvious ones strewn about various piles of rubble. Especially when it's not something like a building coming down on you. Anyways, it just struck me as odd that the media was so shocked that they were so wrong. It really makes me question my outlook on Americans. I've long held faith that we are so delightfully stubborn that we would never let a conquering force hold sway over us ever again. But with the drastically high prices of oil and the horribly misinforming media, I am greatly saddened that there is no real public outcry. There are plenty of channels available for this, or is it the fact that the media would never report it? Wouldn't really surprise me.

The extremely sad part is that we are so willing. That not only is there no public outcry, at least on channels worthy to carry it, but instead we privately whimper to ourselves and either: by in to the bullshit that they spread (because we all know that Bush can control the weather, that "Frodo failed, Bush has the ring." - Is it just me or is that giving him waaay too much credit? - Torn between that and bending over and saying "Please sir! May I have another!" at the gas stations? I mean, we have two alternatives to paying extreme ammounts (and trust me, after paying $70 a fill up several times on a road trip to Cali, you understand the extremeness) that are getting absolutely no results. Hybrid cars would likely cut your gas price in half and Hydrogen vehicles will get you off that entirely. Not to mention the slightly less known conversions to get your car running off of corn syrup, vegitable oil, or something WAAAY cheaper than $3.00+ a gallon.

I mean, really... Get off your whiny American ass and actually DO SOMETHING. That's what worries me. We don't have that fire that I've seen in the previous generations. We bitch and moan and whine and groan, but you're damn right we'll pay $70+ to fill our vehicles because it's "too much of a hassle" or "too expensive" to buy an alternative. So with that pitiful excuse in mind, disregarding for a moment that oil will indoubtably dissappear (maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it won't be replenished nearly at the rate that we consume it), that if you stopped buying gas for an entire year, you would save several thousand dollars (especially at the current rates, and more when they go up again). Now, you're all thinking about how much of a problem that will be, but you fail to realize that it's easily the down payment on a brand new alternative vehicle. You're throwing the money at the oil industry, wouldn't you rather put it into something that would last beyond two years and not cost as much as your house payment in upkeep per month? You can easily get a bus pass, or car pool. I know, the buses suck, but I'm sure it will be worth it to you in the end.

Just a suggestion...

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So that does it for Friday, roflmao. Another "comic" interlude:

"West Coast Karate"

To explain this a bit, in the cartoon the Adventures of Jackie Chan, Jackie had an Uncle that he called "Uncle" (go figure). This guy knows everything about Chi, Chinese Magic and Kung Fu. Anyways, one of my favorite quotes of his is about Kung Fu "Your whole body becomes a seceret weapon."

Now, for the extremely lame and punny joke: West Coast Karate: Your whole body hides a secret weapon. I mean, really, they don't know Kung Fu, they know Shotgun-Fu or something like that. All the Karate that you would ever learn in LA involves hiding a gun somewhere on your person.

Budump-ch.

Ok, stop laughing now. No really, it wasn't that funny to begin with. Ok, alright, it was a little. Ok, now you're embarassing me.

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I am getting tired of writing and there is so much more. You're probably insane (if you made it this far, that means you Forgotten.) by now, so I'll try to shorten it up for you.

First things first on Saturday: I HAVE TOTALLY BEEN TO THAT PLACE BEFORE. I swear to God on all that is holy that I have memories of that reception. BEFORE THEY HAPPENED. It's actually starting to worry me, like I might ACTUALLY be losing it or that something else more sinister is afoot. Like seriously, I have been in that room, met those people, and sat in that very chair at some past point. The part that keeps me really boggled is the fact that my memories are practically concurrent (almost like deja vu, but very different) and that they aren't 100% accurate. Like things are EXTREMELY similar, even though it's a brand spanken new event, and I am not living the EXACT copy of a former situation, but might as well be.

On top of that I got my brother to dance with a Cali girl. That definately requires me to slip up and give a "W00t". Sorry, only response that fits the bill. They did this silly thing saying that you would have a year of good luck if you danced this one dance and that you'd have ten years of bad luck if you didn't. So after arguing with him through that (and several other dances, with and without the aid of all of those present) we managed to get him to commit to something: if I would ask a girl, he would. I tried to press him further into doing it first, not that I cared, I just wanted to make sure he didn't back out. So we went to the dance floor and I picked out a rather gorgeous femme (if I may speak for her) and asked her to dance so that my brother would. Lol, I put that in there as a "just in case", as in "just in case you even think of saying no". So we danced for a couple of songs and it turns out that she's some new form of family, she's the cousin of my new aunt "So what does that make us? Absolutely nothing!". She goes to Longbeach U. somewhere in So. Cal and actually is studying to be a marine biologist, which was a twist because it seems like everyone wants to at some point, but she's actually enrolled for it.

Anyways, so I got my brother on the floor and can actually vouche for him having danced with a girl. And if that isn't enough I have an in on some photographic evidence and you can judge the validity of that story then. Also, I have a picture of my new aunt in her wedding dress, but I turned off the net access to my phone and need an adapter to get it off now (D'oh). But I will post them as I get them.

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Here's to Sunday, yet another pun (or two) to kill the mood and distract you from anything going on right now. As if you were sane and able to keep track of that at this point anyways (now I'm seriously curious, do you read it all at once, or come back for nibbles?):

My mom and dad love this fast food place called Jack 'n' the Box (for some reason) and always have to eat it twice when we go to any place that has one (namely Cali because they're big there and in Nevada, but near as we can tell there's one in St. George and one in southern Idaho beyond that).

Anyways, my brother couldn't figure out why they liked it so much, so in obvious fashion I explained: It's secretly known as Crack 'n' da Box. It works. They just love it waaay too much. It's simply another fast food chain, so what gives?

Beyond that we also came out with the Asian version of the store which is Yak 'n' the Box, now with new locations opening in Nepal and India.

Thank you, I'll be here all week (mwahahaha).

And that apparently concludes Sunday except for:

THE FREAKIN' V SONG OF THE WEEK

This one's an ode to myself, a bit, and fits various other situations that I find. I like it very much and you might see or know why, if not, *shrug*:

Michelle Branch - All you wanted.

I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the time comes
I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares

I'm sinking slowly
So hurry hold me
Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on
Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares

All you wanted was somebody who cares
If you need me you know I'll be there
Oh, yeah

[x2]
If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares

Please can you tell me
So I can finally see
Where you go when you're gone

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And last but not least, I got a cool tidbit of news today. Apparently one of the Switchblade Kittens is "looking forward to talking to me again". Sweet. Sorry, for some reason we just hit it way off (you know, waaay back in March, you don't remember, do you? Fine... Just fine...). So that makes me even more excited. I really should get the 25th off so that I can sleep because I'll be security at their little concert at Mountain Con, and that concert starts at 9 or 10, I can't remember. It'll be the first time that I'll have seen them perform, and it will totally rock. So if you find yourself wondering what you're going to do on a Saturday the 24th of September, you should definately be there. It will be worth it, good music, great people (well, I'll be there, heh) and good fun for a Saturday night, because what's better then seeing a Cali band in concert on a Saturday night? Not much, not much at all.

Well that about wraps it up here. Apparently I have unleashed a monster child by stating that I was open to dating again. So I got 20 questions. 20 million that is, so as to see what would be acceptable and how to handle things and whatever. I suppose I'm sort of excited because everyone has to do this at least once (everyone gets set up on a date once, then they realize how bad it sucked and never do it again, lol) and I don't have to do much of the work.

I don't think anything will really come of it and I don't have my hopes up, but anything's possible. So, yeah, whatever.

Oh, and if you're suddenly heart broken: "Don't delay, act now today! Our operator is standing by!" And that's what you get for not speaking up! :-p

(Heh, suckers, good to get that off my chest, good thing I didn't mention that I spent all weekend... Oh crap, they're looking at me like they're reading my mind. Act natural, just act natural.)