Responsible

Would it surprise you to know that every time I see you there are pangs of guilt? Even worse, you're not the only one.

In my life I've done this a few times and it's never worked out for me.

How do I risk the things I have for the things that could be? I think that's the lesson of being an adventurer, an American, a risk taker.

It's different with people though. You can't do that, but can you turn your back on good people and expect them to ever be there for you when you need them? I don't know that I'll ever know how to mitigate that, but I will need to find a way to stop painting myself into corners.

I am where I am now because I need to learn. Before I cause more pain, I get to sit with mine and my missed opportunities until I can remember how to play with the big kids. Flex old muscles, shake free of the dust. As awesome as I am these days, there's been more lurking that doesn't need to be spoken about.

I am genuinely sorry. I haven't been able to say for a long time that I have no regrets. Now I have two big ones. How many more before I figure it out? Where are all the magical fairy tales that make everything better now?

I am in control. I am responsible. I am sorry.