First Post.

So here we go, now my MSN works, 'casue it's 2006 for reals this time. :-p

But in all seriousness, welcome to the new year. A myriad of "Happy New Years" and joy-joy feelings around, eh?

Kind of odd to say the least.

People always look forward to what they want to do, what should we do?

Why doesn't anyone reflect on what they've done? What they should have done? Or is the hope of a second chance a better choice of reflection than the burden of a failed past?

And what of our past? Is it that we're given mercy, multiple chances, and salvation because we didn't know any better? Maybe the real salvation is in lessons learned and not in lessons known genetically at brith. I mean really, there's no one currently living that has ever done everything right the first time, right?

But that doesn't seem to abate all the harshities that come with "wrongness". I mean, if you screw up, how many of you are "Pffft... Whatever, what's one more? I'll just catch it next time."...?

Not very many I'd imagine. That sort of response seems to come with a special sort of wisdom. Something I seem to be lacking in a regard lately...

And what about the fact that we only live once? Does that mean that we have to do everything right the first time or all is lost?

In my experience there are very few things that let you get a second stab at it. If you screw up once, you're done. Not very fair if you couldn't have possibly known it was going to turn out that way, right?

Maybe that's why I forever inch forward? Maybe the root of my sepparation is that I need to get everything right the first time (or try). Yet while doing that I fail the missions that require speed. Sure, great, I can siege a city with the patience of the ages. But if something needs me to rush in and "seize the day", that day was last week (or more likely last month or year) in my case.

I rush into things when I should wait, and wait when I should rush in.

If I ever managed to align myself to the tides it wouldn't be so bad. If I could avoid launching my armada on a low tide, they might actually make it out to sea. Go figure...

So here's to the new year. Big ol' 2006. The year of the non-existant Galactic Superwave and a new year to screw things up with, but with a flourish.

I know that sounds bad, but everyone has to realize that you learn more when you screw something up. I just need to find a junkyard somewhere that I can destroy things to learn of their workings. Problem is that even the "junk" has value to mean... I see only diamonds and can't bear to beat down on something already so broken...

So many thoughts... Sheesh... Give it a break man...