And the finally...

Nobody likes you, everybody hates you, their all out without you having fun.

Yeah... I had that gem stuck in my head all night at work. At first I just stuck with the tune, but after a while it started meaning something to me. But that's alright, I keep trying to consol myself in my thoughts and actions. I know what I'm doing is right and good, that's not what's at issue. I'm just still frustrated about my social life. Yeah, I'm finally admitting it, I have one (sorta), and I miss the one I had. Not really the people now that they unabashadly tromp about the world in their lies, but I do miss having time to myself with friends... But that's ok, I'll have my rewards in time. All my work isn't just so that I can work for later.

But tonight's the finally. Basically. I get to be at Carl's for 6 and a half hours. Working for six, up until midnight. And then my shiftleader offered to take me home (something I worked up so that Marla and Ross didn't have to be up until late to take me home). He's actually a cool guy. We have a great deal in common. But I think I'm a little overbearing for him, sometimes.

But the reason that I haven't fallen apart yet is that yesterday I was able to sleep. Marla arranged to take me to her parents house to sleep, from like 9:45 to 2:15 or so. That was awesome. I had a dream that I would have rather I didn't, but I think it's just my subconsiousness reassuring me still, or maybe it was a message from God. But I didn't really like getting it, a whole lot, even though it reaffirms what I already knew...

I still don't know if I'm coming home this weekend or not... I have to work so late this evening, and my landlord wants to meet at sometime tomorrow. The dude didn't give a time or anything, so I don't know what to do. I do know that I've got some MAE homework, and a whole 18 hour (in total) day. I'm so excited, and I basically have to say that in order to not fall apart and dispair.

This working stuff kinda sucks... I hope that my paycheck makes it worth it... But it looks like that if my work ethic gets back to Jeremy (the manager at the store) that I'll be recognized a bit. Two shift leaders now have commented on it, and I hope that means something other than "Thanks for working your ass off, see you again tomorrow." I'm not greedy, but I am realising the crunch and munch of the real world now, at least a bit more and it's not good...