The dreaded "bounce".

Today was a helluva day. I tell you what.

Two VIP calls (they have to be handled lickety split AND as curteous and sweet as peach pie) and one that baffled even my immediate supervisor (here on called a Team Lead or TL)...

The worst part about it was that they "bounced" the tickets. Well, a bounce is when you send off the work to a specialized group called a resolver, and they send it back. They "resolve" things that we can't, either we don't have the tools for it, or we just don't have the know how. Typically a bounce involves the resolver taking one look at your ticket, deciding that a) you didn't do your job, b) they don't actually handle that or c) they just freakin' don't want to do their job. AT LEAST HALF of my tickets that are ever sent off get bounced. Not because I did something wrong, but because the resolvers need to get kicked, at least. We're convinced that they get paid to sit around and play Halo. What a rough job.

Well today I had someone call in saying that she had been locked out. Now for those of you that have never had any experience with a secure login before: you get locked out, typically, after three failed password attempts or various other security violations that will nail you for it. Capital One is uber uptight about their security. The whole coal-to-diamond out of the ass thing, yeah, that uptight. So that's why my job exists, because people forget passwords and or lock themselves out. Anyways, get a call, she says she's locked out. Because I just got my tools I'm like "Ok, no sweat." Open that sucker up and... She's not locked out. So I go into a similar tool that lets me reset the password, she's really definately not locked out, but I change the password anyways and have her try that. Nothing. So I call that special group that handles things that I can't (PAD, PAD's internal and not technically a resolver. Not sure what PAD stands for, but for some reason I REALLY want to work for them.), they open up the account, take two looks and say "Yep, damn, you're right. Wierd." Ok, not so much exactly like that, but close enough.

So I take it up to a team lead as per our little chain of command on the issues. He gives me the go ahead to send it to a resolver (it's a recent policy addition that we need all of our referrals checked off by a team lead). I send it off figuring that it is too wierd to be a fix on our end and that the resolver will take care of it no sweat.

So naturally they did their job, right? Pfft. That would be easy.

They send it back to me, not only saying that they aren't going to do anything about it, but trying to insult me by saying that I didn't do my job and try to trouble shoot it. Basically before sending it off, we get it checked off AND make sure that we have done everything possible to narrow down the actual issue. I get ahold of my Team Lead and have him READ EVERY STEP THAT I DID. They had told me, and asked me, if I had used this one tool when that was the FIRST THING that I did. It's just easier that way.

So he reads it, and confers with some other high muckity muck about it and tells me that he bounced it back. End of the issue?

Again, that would be easy.

Apparently the resolver is too busy having a Halo tournament to do THEIR JOB. So they bounce it, AGAIN, saying basically that it was so locked and that I should use that same tool, again. But they made a fatal mistake, they left a contact number.

So I grab that TL and tell him about it, he's like "Great, give them a call, I'll be right there behind you." So with reightous indignation I am totally about to dial the number when I figure, what the hell, I'll run that tool for at least a third time (probably fourth or fifth, honestly).

So it pulls up, waiting for it to load and populate all of the accounts and BLAMO! There it is, plain as day that it's locked out. I look over my shoulder in disbelief at the TL who's totally going "WTF?" And when we pulled it up, I can look at when the accounts were locked out. Apparently somewhere between us bouncing it to them the second time, and their second bounce back, the account got locked out. I look at him "Dude, look at this, this totally looks like the resolver locked up the account to cover their tracks." So we unlocked the account and left a voicemail for the gall with the account. Here's the other thing. The "last bad password" meaning that the last time the account was attempted with the wrong password after the lockout WAS SEVEN MINUTES different from the lockout time, later not sooner. So someone tried FOR AT LEAST SEVEN MINUTES to try to login. I don't know about you guys, but once I'm locked, I know I'm not getting in and give up. And I'm rather sure the original caller would have known that to.

Needless to say, we pretty much handled the bizarre situation, we think, and Resolvers just slipped about 20 notches on my esteem totem pole (yes, I have one, don't you?). That and having the damn exec team send stuff back when that SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN is freaking ridiculous. Can we do it? Most of the time. But the exec team does EVERYTHING WE DO, but faster. But EVERY SINGLE ticket that I have ever sent to them (as according to every procedure we have) has been bounced.

I really think we should just have everything internal and strangle the life out of each and every one of those resolvers. There's a definate attitude difference because even when I call them up, there's a problem. They always try to shove it back in your lap. Can we do it? Yes, the point is that we're following procedure and they apparently have none. We have access to plenty of tools that we're NO LONGER allowed to use. They even try to push that back on us.

Buggers.

But other then that, I got another major password to a major tool. Very sweat. One more major one to go and I will have most of the access I need. Two more and I will have ALL OF THEM, I'm pretty sure.

Hopefully my frustrations were entertaining enough for you today. Off to argue more, heh.