Just more proof.

So there we go, more proof of the things that I see, that I know.

Does anyone stop to think of why I'm so stubborn? Does anyone care?

It's because when I seek an opposing viewpoint to my own, I almost exclusively find support.

There's a reason why I post here first, I didn't today, but last time, when I went to my other online activities, I found another reason why.

I went to a friends online profile and found a blog post that essentially said "Goodbye, cruel world."...

Not a happy event.

We want to talk about darkness? We want to speak of our own problems? We have no idea what it's really like on the front lines of these wars, do we?

....

That will just bring further battles on a, now third, front. Not worth reopening it, I suppose. It's been mined off. I'll shell that one later.

So I spent most of the day worrying about the poor soul. Trapped by such an obvious lie. I finally got ahold of her confirming that she was alive, but very sure that she wouldn't have been able to tell the difference...

One down, I suppose. One problem that I hadn't expected to deal with just then.

Alas, I choose my battles as often as not.

Still not sure why I engage in these in the first place. It just seems like the thing that I'm meant to do, right? Like it's a switch that can't be turned off. Not sure I'd want to if I could.

It's wierd, to say the least.

But it shall continue.

No tears, no blood, no time.

It's ok, I'll be fine.

A moment's weakness that will soon vanish.

Titanium side, right? Not with me so much. I suppose that's what it is, but it's definately not compared to that, it's more the calm, cool, collected sort. Y'know, arrogance and all.

Anyways.

Now's time to plot for Christmas. Now I don't have any of the legitimate excuses of "Yeah, if I had money."

What's lame is that I always know what to get when I'm broke, and have no idea what to do with the money that I do have. I know what I want, what I will and won't ask for, but for everyone else...?

I don't just get something on their list, 'cause that's lame. If it's similar, fine, it helps to see what they're into. But I don't see any feeling from getting something from a list. Like, I don't feel anything special when I buy it that way.

I'm not saying that the whole deal is raw for anyone, I just try to have a certain sentimental feeling when I do it, and I don't get it down that path.

Then I have to decide who's special enough to get what, lol.

This whole Christmas thing is none-sense. Not that I don't want anything, lol, I just hate the whole lot of expectations and guilt trips and everything. It's essentially all in my head, but I'm not making it up... Right?

Whatever.

I'm tired and not feeling very cheery right now. Don't worry, be happy, right?

Hopefully I'll be able to afford me an external hard drive to start moving some data. And start stock piling things for the future. I've been eyeing DVD camcorders and everything, but it'll probably be a year or more before I make a move on it. The problem is that I don't have a specific need for it, which means that it would more or less collect dust, most likely.

Gotta have certain things that I don't in order for that to be useful.

Anyways.

I'm being negative, so I should away with me. I have to get up early in the morning anyways.

Another paycheck is coming this week, that'll be nice, should stockpile for Christmas and everything. Heh.

TTYL.

BTW, Carl, if you read this be prepared for some con related talk in the morning. I want to be included in this SF Utah list or whatever and whether or not you got the minutes, since you didn't respond or post them to the list to my knowledge.