"You are a Fluke. Of the Universe."

You have no right to be here.

Isn't it great?

I am back.

WE are back.

Comcast finally got off of their lazy asses and fixed our net.

Apparently our wonderful neighbors had the mishap of cutting ours (and apparently their own) lines while putting in their sprinkler system, and digging up part of our yard without asking.

Punks.

But we're online now. Now comes the re-structuring of the home network so that we can get mine and Jeremy's compies on the Gigabit switch.

I think my plan was flawed and I will re-evaluate it, but if any of you know how to set up a DHCP server on a home network with all of the bells and whistles, that would be great.

I would like to be able to set individual user permissions for functions, instead of the pass/fail authentication that Windows has currently.

Just as a hint.

And I have things to do.

Though I am back.

I'm sure I have a lot to catch up on.

"Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die?"

I hope this headache fades before I do the necessary.

I spent all weekend at Carl's house, sorta talked into it by Frank.

Not that I'm griping, but I would have loved to have rationed my time a bit better.

If anything, this LAN party revived my love for games.

I haven't played D2 in a while, but now I want to start a Necro again and do him right.

I was kind of surprised to see Carl doing so well, not sure why, but he's good, if not frustrating at some of these games.

It was a lot of fun, but I would trade the length of time for having more quality people any day.

C'est la vive.

Have fun peeps, I'm on a mission now. A mission from God.

Time to think about going home.

Do you feel an awakening?

I know that I do.

I don’t know what’s going on, if the moon is in the right phase (is it a new moon tonight? Because that would make sense.), but I am definitely feeling like myself again.

Oh my God it feels good to be like this again.

I don’t know what my problem has been lately, but I feel that some sort of soul sucking power just released me.

I haven’t felt great, and you hear this all the time, but I think this time I could be back on track for a true revival.

What am I talking about? You’ll probably never know.

I’m hoping that out with this goes every negative emotion I have ever held.

I am better than this. I am finally realizing what I’ve always known.

I’ve realized that lately I’ve settled for surviving, when reality dictates that I be better then that.

I almost slipped into an all too common curse of settling for what I have, for taking the mediocre and easy path and for being content.

I have always known that there is no happiness in contendedness. You settle for being content in a give and take that means you won’t have to lose as much.

But that’s not happiness.

Happiness is not giving up joy for the sake of not being self-deprecating. It becomes a stagnant pool of depression.

Carpe Vive, seize the life. Ok, so Vive is French, but without the net I’m kicking some ass, okie day?

So I hope that I keep this fire and get on track, yet again.

I’m going to use it through these interviews to see if I can switch up and improve. It’s always been there, but without the fire and passion. I am not a lifer, I am not going to settle for a job that can take care of me. I am going to get what I want.

I don’t want riches, I don’t want fame, I just want to be the best that I can be in this one man army.




And now for something completely different:


Religion as a subject offends and worries many a modern thinking man, but I don’t see why it should.

I’ve come to realize that at worst, religion is a set of mystical symbols that will help explain the world around you.

For example:

Do you believe in good acts, do you believe in evil circumstances? Have you ever given human personalities to inanimate objects or ideas?

I think this is a horribly simple way of putting it, it lacks the fundamental reason for religion, but what is the evil in creating understanding?

If I have any hellfire atheists reading this, I would love you to comment, same if there are any of the religious here that are offended. It’s an idea that has its flaws and I see some, but would be loathed to say that I see them all.

Heck, if I personalize my computer and have it ‘telling’ me things, then I believe that others can use metaphors to explain the world around them.

That will at least cover the mystical symbology inherent in religion, but it won’t cover the divine nature of a supremely holy creator and crafter of everything. Thus a flaw.

You've failed me for the last time...

Comcast sucks.

You won't likely be hearing from me again until Friday at which point, Gods of the Internet willing, I will be blasting Comcast and you with a million updates.

Sorry until then...

"...Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

I wrote this yesterday, you'll have to forgive the lateness of the actual post.

The title comes from perhaps the most stirring speech ever delivered in any movie, at least as far as I'm concerned:

"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. "Mankind." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"

It's a big quote. One that should have meaning whether or not we have blood drinking E.T.s at our gates.

One that we should remember and live by EVERY DAY. Not just those that we find we are beset upon.

One world, one fight. One person is worth the battle.

Happy Independence Day, everyone.

What a beautiful day it should be, but what does this day mean anymore?

Why do YOU celebrate it?

Is it just another holiday?

Is it just an excuse to get with friends and family and light fireworks? Or for some of you brave few, is it still a means of celebrating our continuing freedom?

And from what?

The Brittish have become our allies.

The redcoats are legendary tourist attractions, only, so what are we free from? There's no longer any need to fear the dictators of foreign soils that we began this holiday for.

How about on the home front?

What about the vices of humanity?

I appreciate and respect the freedom of choice as much as the next person, but what are we doing with it?

Do you know that people use that logic as a means of solely pleasure? "I want to O.D. before I'm 23 so I die young and beautiful." Such poetry from one so intent on her own suicide. One of my treasured friends wrote this in a journal of hers. Is this the new American dream that we have always heard so much about?

Let's not make war, hell, let's not even make peace anymore. Let us just shoot up, get drunk and fuck 'till nothing is left then we can O.D., right?

This is the freedom of choice that we share?

This is what MILLIONS of valiant warriors died for?

Am I the only one that believes in finding hapiness other than in the end of a needle or the tip of a knife? That spilling the blood of my own or the blood of others, that spending my days in some sort of toxin induced stupor should bring happiness? Of course not. So why do we do it? Why don't we do more about it?

Why is being dead at 23 an amiable goal?

How can that even come to your mind?

I suppose our society is so callous now and vain that not only does it spawn these thoughts, it almost finds them acceptable.

Why?

I don't understand what makes you think these things.

You want to know why I'm alien? Why I keep to myself?

Look around you. Look closely at your friends just once.

Look at the choices they make and ask yourself why.

Why do they do that?

Why do YOU do that?

Just a little bit of analysis and subjectiveness.

Just a little bit.

What is so important that you would give all for it?

Your vanity is so important that you would die for it?

Your happiness is so important that you would rather die than hurt?

Your love is so important that you would lose your self-respect, your sense of self, your identity and your values for it?

Have a little bit of strength. That's the rarity these days.

Step back, look. Analyze why what you want is important. What you are giving up instead of gaining.

Or is our sense of worth so wacked these days that you can't tell?

Independence.

What does that mean to you?

I choose a life free from the vices of humanity. At least as much as I can manage.

I choose to do what I feel is right as long as I'm able.

I'm sorry that we won't see eye-to-eye.

Let me know how that treats you, will you?

"Pinch, pinch me... Please God tell me... that I'm still asleep..."

Let all of that pass into the dustbin of "history".

I don't want it to have the priveledge of being recognized.

Today almost made the ordeal worth it, I suppose.

Finally cashing in some of my hard earned Karma, I suppose. But such a waste, really. I could use it to do something beneficial, couldn't I?

You'd think so anyways.

Why am I up so early on the weekend? I did something that I knew would be foolish. I started working on my desktop and started a long format. Almost two hours ago...

Holy crap man...

The quick format takes faaar less than 5 mins.

Should have just stuck with that, I guess...

It's been a hell of a week I tell you what.

But really, I won't tell you, even if you ask nicely.

We'll see how it ends and how the next one begins. I've got a bead on some more, but necessary if there is such a thing, debt.

This should put me on the proper track to where I should be at this point and time.

As cool as the desktop is, I'm starting to realize I may have slightly over extended myself, but by next month I'll either be completely over extended or sitting pretty nicely.

We shall see.