Behold the power of Cheese!

Er... Em... Yeah... Perception.

Amazing little concept if you stop to think about it... But you all know the talk, to lecture, on my alterings on perception, I'm sure.

It's the greatest weapon in the world. No one wants to admit it, but it kills thousands more than you could with any number of bombs. It stirs you into action, or inaction.

Welcome to power. Why is it that Charismatic leaders take over so easily? Why is it that you feel so safe in your home, in your car?

Interesting to think about.

Welcome to the darkness. It's not dark because it's evil. It's dark because the only thing that sepperates you from the black - from the evil - is that thin veil between the shadows.

It's dark because you're just as easily swayed to the perils of all to perish forever, as you are to become the savior of men, the king and herald of all men.

You've probably never thought of it. The power that you actually contain. Why have you never thought of it? You can't percieve it...

It's tragic actually because most times you fear it. You sit, you whimper in fear of a giant not realising that he's as helpless as a mouse should you stand your ground.

Power is being able to disappear when you're the loudest, most obnoxious, 6ft dork on the planet.

Perception is viewing me as those above things and reacting to them.

Forever we are trapped as mortals because we can't percieve our power. Limited by our perception, we are forever limited.

You shape your reality. Why are you lazy? Think about it. What stops you from talking to that crush of yours? Think about that.

Sit there and think of all of the things you never do, and never will.

Can you give an acceptable reason to any of them? Or is your answer something as pathetic as "what will they think of me?" or "I don't have the time?"

Indeed.

What is it this time that stops you?

...

Ironic in all of the fuss about freedoms... I hate to be cynical. But if the government wanted to take them, they would have them. If they wanted to give them, you'd have them. But they are not the only ones with that power.

You can take as much as your willing, and give better than you've ever gotten.

What I still find puzzling is Americans' recent acceptance, their willing to get slapped and given the finger over and over. Sure, they pout, sure they complain, but that just makes it easy.

I still challenge you. Pull out of your shell, pull up your power and stand for what you are, for what you believe in.

I have seen your passions before, you've taken the country by storm, the continent, and shown the world that you are not to be triffled with.

And what stops you now? Their rules...? Yours...? Where are you now, my heroes? Where are you going to make your stand? When? Not tomorrow, tomorrow is gone. There is no tomorrow as no plan survives first contact. Yesterday is burning, is a corpse for you to examine and learn from if you can, but is of no use to you now.

So are you going to forge new fire and knowledge from that flame? Or let it pass into a smouldering oblivion?

You are the only warrior here. They will not stand up in fight. You can.

You are the hero. You are the warrior, the peacekeeper, the saint if you only will it.

Stand ready, warrior, for many fear a tide of darkness has, is, and will be sweeping this land.

We need you to fight. We need you to bleed, and we need you to win. There is no other alternative. There is only victory.

Bring it on!

Men of Action.

Sorry, not much to start with the Christmas cheer just yet.

I've had too much time to think, though it's not been in the mode of the last month at least.

So I call to you, Men of Action. Perhaps you're paying attention. (Though not to exclude the ladies, just saying "Women of Action" or "Men and Women of Action" just isn't as catchy for some reason).

Many things have been brought forth this day, and in the passing weeks. Why is it that when men get together (well... intellectually) that they speak of Politics and Philosophy? Not that I mind, but it's an odd reflection...

What's more odd is the talking. Quotes ring in my ear about "Old men talking/young men dying" and that sort of thing. But what do we do with our words?

Today we spoke of dictators and a dark future (at least dark first, but only shortly), but what are we doing about it? Do we just accept that "Aw, darn, nothing I can do about it." or do we fight?

Someone once spoke to me about her fears and concerns about the way things are shaping up in the leaders of the world, specifically B. Jr. I think it's time to flare that up one more time. I have a firm promise that I won't stand for any of the things that you fear to come. If at some point it comes to pass that there's a dictator making a move for the Whitehouse, I have every intention to uphold our forefather's wishes and values and defend our freedoms.

Saying that is all well and good. But how do we prevent it?

I say a great many things that I'd like to do for the world, for myself, and my loved ones, but do I? Not really... I continue to make excuses for it. I suppose if it truly were the thought that counts the world would have fallen to ruin and built to paradise a thousand times already...

I'm not sure what to do about all of this still... But it does bother me that no one acts, or is willing to act, on behalf of their words and concerns...

Gas prices go up and the masses are silent, save the silent complaining they do to each other...

Rights are taken, but where's the uproar? You mean to tell me that the news of a pre-emptive strike against a dictator and his regime is more noise-worthy than the fact that the government is, can, and will be "spying" on "American citizens" at some point in time?

What's that about? People were arrested for protesting the war (more in the manner they did it, but still in conjuction with it), but what about for protesting rights violations? Where are the Men of Action now? Why, if you truly fear this, do you do nothing...?

I'm figuring that out for myself, but in truth, I am not one in fear of that. But should I have need to do so in the future, there needs to be a plan of action.

...

Other then that, Happy Christmas and Merry New Year! I hope everything was good for you and yours.

I guess I'll see many of you in the coming week, sleep well and have fun.

I think that life would be that much better if I were a Mute.

At least then I wouldn't open my mouth and get myself into trouble, right?

Alas, though, it is not often my mouth that gets me into trouble these days, it is this written word.

Chop off my hands then?

I suppose it's all in my perceptions though. My best ally and worst enemy eternally. Right up there with time...

So tomorrow's the big day. Am I the only one that is operating solely out of the tradition of it? I trudge on because I know nothing else (and if I stopped I might freeze), but it hardly feels the part.

Miserable cold, miserably felt with a miserably negligible ammount of snow.

I'm sorry, but I very much wish there was more snow on the ground by now.

...

How many of you are last minute shoppers? I know I'm about the worst, but there are reasons for that. Chiefly, I think, is the fact that I actually plan and prepare for it. Un-beknownst to the rest of the world, going shopping is a test of whits and mettle. You fight against others (chiefly in the holiday season), you fight against prices and "the man" and you fight against inflation and the economy. I shop late because I know what I'm getting, where to get it, and usually what's among the cheapest places to find it.

So that's what I was doing today, and I had it all done as planned.

So there.

Ha!

...

In case you haven't noticed, Justin's a bit of a looney toon at about 6 in the morning. Why am I up now? Because I started a project late and intend to finish. I've put it off far too long and it requires my attention. Well, my presence anyways.

And if you did notice, or have a problem with me being a looney toon, you can eat hot death, wierdo!

...

So many people to be displeased with, so little time.

Don't worry, I'm not above reproach on that one.

Anywho. Here we go being looney again.

And as always: Eat hot death, wierdo!

Here I am, and you're the same. You're just me, by another name.

So here we are, and there ye be. Thar she blows accross the see.

I try to rhyme, it doesn't fit me. Run like hell before I laugh with glee!

He... He...

I hope you don't mind if I simply float here. I don't want to say anything but float for I have already damaged what wasn't mine in the first place.

I hope you don't mind that I simply stare at you. The pain and anger won't cross my face, the same that pulls me all to waste.

I hope you don't mind that I talk to you as though you are here. You're always here, but never. You're always talking, but say nothing, always listening but use it not.

And what in all of goodness are you trying to accomplish?

If there is a demon that plagues me now, you are it.

You befriend me, leaving me snippets of joy and hope. Then you devour my soul and all else with it. Whatever is left, you take.

Do it maliciously? Maybe not. It happens just the same, and there are scarce exceptions for accidents in these times.

For instance: It is an accident, it is all in my head. Every little stab, every claim to want me dead. If that is the case, and lord may it be, why is it that you won't have anything to do with me?

It doesn't make a lick of sense to say the least.

So her we be, in fantasy. You set your trap and wait for me. I come down a path divine, swallowed whole by a giant swine. You lay a trap, and lay it well. And when I've won, you start to sell. I buy and buy and buy and break. Just to find my last mistake.

And there you are, innocent to be sure. But the feeling that I'm duped weighs even more.

So we part are ways, our eyes both "teared". To come back again, war paints all smeared.

A cycle it must, a cycle it be. The only one that can do this to me.

I've asked me once, twice for eternity, why does it matter? Why at all?

And no answer still, just the solemn reminder that it does, it will, and there's nothing to be done about it.

...

Here's to the injustices of the world. The compassionate, the good, the right and the bold; shall never at once, the world hold.

They'll fight to share it, to win it for man. And in the end no one gives a damn.

I fight and perish and burn and flee and weep and gnash and starve and freeze and suffocate and suffer.

To all of your glee. You might not want it, you might not cause it, but a lot it does when you won't pitch in to stop it.

Blame you? No, not in the least. But wish you would help me, to slay this big beast.

I know we can do it, I've seen it been done. But no one will help me, not even one.

Feelings of aloneness. Never made much sense. I wasn't going to do a couple of things that I did here, but I did it.

If the rhyming was bad, I must say tough on this one, I didn't mean for the whole thing to be like that, but it worked out that way.

Anyways.

Don't take it personally. Remember, with me I address the masses more than the asses... ER... singular individuals in life. Generally.

I can see my new years resolution is kicking off great already.

Still lurking around? Was this another one of your crumbs? Or do we just have lousy timing there, kiddo?

You seemed excited to add me, at least.

And the undead are like, a bunch of friends, demanding constant attention!

Demananding constant attention, will only lead to attention, and when they get that attention, they use it to ask for attention...

Indeed.

But when you think of that, you hurt your mind, and you'll need your mind for later on.

Needing a mind for later on, is a friend that comes at a price. But when you hate the friend that comes at a price, you will play the drums to help you sleep.






And if you thought I came up with that, you're mad. I'm not that creative, as wierd as it is.

I have access to my voicemail again, if you need to call and leave a message in the future, I can actually get it! lol

Also, apparently I still have like a $9 credit on my phone bill, much to my surprise.

I should change my phone number and have them screw up more often.

...

Anyways, I had something actually important to share... Oh well.

Hopefully the internets will have need to fear me in the near future. Busy weekend already. It's nuts, my week is over as of tomorrow...

...

A little known fact is that my TL has been... worrying? in my general direction. I've been on one of the "shit lists" for a little while and need to get off it in a hurry, but I came up with a plan to A) keep me off it and B) prove I shouldn't be there, and C) get me off of it currently and blame it on the system.

I actually hope I'm on the list tomorrow, because my plan involved taking a screen shot of every ticket before I close it. Not as tedious as it sounds, I promise. But I hope it proves my innocence and not my guilt.

...

Anyhoo... My new secret assault plan has been launched. You have no chance to survive, make your time.

This is stupid.

Why is it that the only chatting program worth having, the one with all of my active contacts, is the only one not working?

Damn Murphey. I'm sorry, but the poor bastard's name...

Guess what my error code is supposed to relate to? The time on my computer? WTF should that matter? Where does that make sense? We spent all this time and energy preparing for Y2K to make NEW programs time dependant?

So the solution? Pull up worldtimeserver.com, get the current time: "For up to the minute time, you're watching the time channel I'm your host... The time is now 8:05PM!"

"8:06PM"

Give me a break, my time is right, and what kind of stupid ass issue is that anyways?

IF you want to talk to my via MSN, I suppose that's tough, at least while I have dial-up. I'm giving my damndest three times a week to update MSN and get new tools to make it work, but I can't get the farkin' thing to do what it should...

Why must it hate me?

I suppose it's not like I check in with people from two countries and the entire span of ours with it...

Heaven forbid.

But I guess I don't even have to make excuses anymore. "Justin, why can't I talk to you online?? *waaaahhhhh*" "Because farkin' MSN doesn't love me! That's who!!12"

Wha?

Anyways...

Yes, I'm sorry, but our love is not meant to be. I'm not on the "cool meter" when it comes to running the r0x0r: MSN and Firefox don't love me. My firewalls certainly don't love me. And my computer is quickly turning away, but I can fix his waggon.

STFU.

I just fixed it.

Damn it!

Disregard that entire rant and give me a light, but swift, kick in the ass next time you see me...

It was the time...

It was the year, specifically. Not a freakin' comment.

....

*huff*

"Nuclear war was aborted today when the clocks on the Russian Missiles were rolled back by a year, thus delaying the attack by as much as 12 months to a year."

I just added a reason of why I hate Microsoft.

Thank you.

.......

In other news, I will be contacting some of you shortly for aid. I don't feel you should need to feel obligated, but I also don't see it a request that someone could or would say no to. It's a triffle to you, and the world to me.

Anyways, now that I singlehandedly did nothing AND made myself look like an idiot (I fulfilled my quota of once daily, sometimes twice!) I shall away with me. I shall see you MSNers online more often now, I suppose.

(Shut up!)

And then there was nothing, but out of the darkness came...

I've told myself that this won't be one of my darker posts. Nothing good seems to come of those, whether that be my mood or not, but lately I have been awfully defeatist for some reason...

Many good things have happened lately though. But I keep filling myself with twinges of doubt. Much of it stems from what I really want, want I feel I should do, and what everyone else feels that I should do... The problem is that the latter two points are correct and have been ruling my life for... oh, about 16 years or so.

Now we enter in my wants, my desires, and my overall state of mind. Sure, absolutely I should go to college, and I haven't exactly thrown that out, but I think that I can put it off for a few years and still be plenty fine.

I don't think it would be so full of SUCK if certain things had happened my first semester there. If it had been everything that I was looking for, like I had been promised (by myself and others) my entire life... If it hadn't been a colossal waste of resources (time and money) and hadn't been "more of the same" as everything is that I hate...

It just was everything that I didn't want. To spend four months of doing nothing but saving and buying food to make it through four months of school. Not many people are aware that I "wasn't at" most of my classes, Chemistry I slept through and technically the same with one of my Engineering classes most of the time. And I didn't do all that poorly. Chemistry was a lower grade, and there's plenty of reason of why that was (and believe me, it wasn't for lack of understanding or homework).

Not to mention the fact that it was full of more highschool antics that were passed on from Jr. High... I seem to be one of the few that ran into that pocket, but there was definately too much social angst flying around again.

I don't share this for those of you that are going. I will support you to the ends of the earth, space and time. Trust me, I know how difficult it can be, it should be. I just share my reasons for NOT going myself. What reasons do I have for going? I spent so much money, spent so much time (and away from my family and friends in times of need), what did I get? 10 credit hours. Senior year I got 40, outright, for such a fraction of the cost. This is why when I go back I'm going to CLEP out of Math as high as I can manage. Hell, I'd get a bachelors in Math just from the tests...

Heh... The cost/benefit ratio is completely skewed for me, that's why I hesitate...

But enough of that. Though I do have to ask why it is that you keep haunting me? I said my piece, you said yours, so why is it that you still haunt my dreams? Why is it that things are the same as they have been for so long...? Here, let me hold this open so that you can walk in and out at your leisure...

I don't mind that you stay, I just wish you wouldn't do THIS.

That's much of the angst of today's post, in other news....

Oh, ho, oh, ho a pirate's life for me.

No, not really. Don't need any of that heat, but I found some rather nifty things out about my computer and have some new toys to try out...

Let's just say that I don't need my disks to play my DVDs anymore. I'm not doing anything but watching them, it won't wind up on the internet, so slow down you corporate Nazis. Just a little bit.

Dang... I just Godwinned myself... *slaps forhead*

Though one of my new toys for IMing people doesn't love me. After I installed it the second time, it worked, but now it won't launch again... Sheesh... It looks like it should be worth it though.

....

Oh, and Carl. You know you've gotta love me, dude, lol. I have a Christmas present for you to borrow. It's an older game that you might recognize. They re-released it so that Steam could rape your computer, remember?

Well if you're interested, I found the old copy of the game so that Steam has no more power! Bwahaha!

Alas, I think I have said all that I came to.

And if you hear about some AT-AT, it's a lie! It's all lies!

Because it means so much.

I will post for you again. I was thinking about it, and if I don't do it tonight, I seriously won't have time to do it until Friday or next week some time.

And that's just not very nice at all, is it precious?

Alicia, I rarely single you out here, I suppose that might have something to do with the fact that I've gotten three comments from you evar!

Gosh.

So here you go kiddo, I'm singling you out, though I know you don't want me to, lol. I don't know why I call you kiddo... Maybe because it gets a rise out of you?

Anyways, what I replied in comment form with is accurate. MSN hates me. Multiple times it just dies. Now it won't even let me sign in... I'm going to re-install it eventually, but I'm not sure that I saved the installer, I hope I did...

That and the letter is forthcoming and henceforth will be there forthright and hencecoming. Or something...

And as soon as I get the faster-than-dial up connection set up then I will be on nightly I swear.

----

Now for the rest of you: HA!1onetwo!!

Tomorrow I gets to view a movie. Hurrah. It's a rather decent one, it'll be interesting as it's a story that I've never really gotten into.

Another one of those mysterious fads, but I thought it was a children's book for the longest time and just never read it, lol... Anyways, I'm looking forward to Narnia, but no back flips just yet.

----

BTW, if you ever want to destroy me for a week, get me a new game. I borrowed a game on Sunday (Republic Commando - Ho, Ho, Ho, Puny Jedi) and have stayed up to like 11PM each night... It's garbage, I can't tear myself away, so I didn't even get on tonight... Just one of the games I've always looked forward to, but if I'm right, then I've already almost beaten the damn thing...

But then I have Elite Force 2 to keep me company.

----

Oh yeah, if you could get me a copy of WC3 for the upcoming season I would respond in kind. If you don't know what the acronym is for, then you should find out, just ask someone near you.

It's a hint, another hint would be that it's a game that I've waited about half my life for... That should bombshell it for you.

I just have no idea what to get you peeps outside my family... I don't want to be lame or cheap, but I have no idea what to get. That and I don't want you to expect something, what's the fun in that?

I was sorta lame last year, can't do that one again, lol. I thought it was neat anyways... Anyways... Different subject number 5:

----

All your music is belong to us, you have no chance to survive. All your musical and melodious distinctiveness will be added to our own.

The music version of Katz of Borg...?

How about Microsoft of Borg, it's joked about enough:

All your suck is belong to us, you have no chance to survive, make your time. All your technological and corporate suck will become one with our own.

Micro-Kratz of Borg...

I'm borged... er... bored...

Anyways, to save you from further lameness.

BTW, don't ever download some of the songs that I am listening to here... Sheesh. The language and the overall crudeness, lol. It's only for the not easily offended for sure, and you might just have to live with your mind in the gutter...

I don't live there, I rent that place out to other people now...

Right, done then. See you laterz!!111!21!

OMFG! STFU! RTFM! ID10T! U R teh r0x0rzz11!

Geez... That's enough of that one.

See what you did to me? Gosh.

"What are you doing?!"

"What are YOU doing?"

"That is correct! That is correct!"

If you are lost, prepared to join me on a quest to be even lost-er.

'Cause I've been hanging out there for a while now.

You wanted to hear from me? But what's the fun in that? I feel like acting like a spoiled brat for a while, and why should you want to hear from one of those?

I've slipped again, all better tomorrow? All better after this post? I don't know.

Wanting friends that won't want me. Staying away from the ones that want me that I don't want. Why can't I have at least ONE where it's both at the same time?

I don't mean to single anyone out, I'm not here to hurt feelings, there are multitudes that fit into these categories. Seriously. Most of my "friends" are people that I like, that I wouldn't mind hangning out with that it alwyas seems awkward to do so, or they end up shunning me and somehow still being friendly.

It's not a unique thing to do by any stretch of the imagination...

I'm sorry. Apparently I'm going to be an asshole for a few mins.

...

I've now had TWO events that have made me want to puke during a debate... One I had with my Physics teacher last year who actually made me want to hate debate, and the other is 116 posts of circular logic and just as round debating styles on my ol' history teacher's blog.

I found something to agree with one of the opposite contenders, for once, but after 80+ posts having gone by, I decided not to interject such pointless baloney into a pointless debate...

...

I think I've figured out that I DO actually need a life. I think that's what gets me most of the time. I'm on the verge of thinking about having wanting a life, but I don't do it. I can do it, I would do it, but I don't do it. I already know, and have known forever, where the blame lies, but there's something there that stops it.

I think at some point in the near future you might see me do something crazy, like get my license. Watch out world!

...

I got a new toy, again, but this one's just kinda a trinket. It's a battery-less flashlight (yeah, again, but I lost the other one during the Cali. trip...), but it also has an AM/FM radio. Pretty decent sound quality, too.

...

Speaking of quality, I finally was able to go through some of the magazines that I've been getting; Popular Science namely, and found a wicked cool wireless router for $160 that accomodates a 600 MB/s wireless rate and has 3-4 times the range of a regular router. Please note that it's about 11 times as fast as a standard router to date and not all that much more expensive.

I think that will be my next toy, we might actually be having a couple of people help pay for it so that we can get a couple of HOUSES (note the plurality) wirelessly enabled. Wicked cool.

...

There, we've heard from me. Doesn't really seem worth it somehow. I'm just finding myself in that "Hey, if I get everyone to look away, I can disappear!" moment, I know it's a lie (I've got too many damned responsibilities now, people'd be like "WTF, there's something that should have been done that's missing... Wierd."), but it's still a passing thought.

...

I need to get out of the house more than once or twice a month. I guess that's sort of what tomorrow's for. I'm looking forward to it, but more for the stuff that I'm NOT going for... Lol, I'm supposed to be going to help someone study for a test, but I'm obviously more interested in borrowing some games, pulling down his MP3 database and troubleshooting his technical woes... See, spoiled brat, selfish, and so on.

...

Not to mention I have my head up my ass apparently. Sorry, a relic from the "debate" that makes me want to vomit. I think it's the first time that I have been referred to in that matter. We all know that I'm close minded after all (thank you M. for calling me THAT for the first time in my life!). Not to mention that it was also in a debate. Sheesh. And then a coupla posts later I actually find something to agree with, what a world.

...

Things can become simpler at any time now... I feel like I'm going to pop, but I'm tired and venting a coupla weeks frustration apparently. I'm going to go drool at airgonetworks.com for a few mins at a router that beckons to me. I should feel better then, right?

Maybe...

So positive today, too.

I'll be my usual, charming, head-up-my-ass, self tomorrow, or else!