Three more knocked down, at least.

Well as boring as the day was, it was quite eventful and fulfilling.

Solidifying the fact that I have no life, I went and bothered people at work for a little while today. It was one of the highlights of my day, actually. When you're bored to death at home, go harrass people at work (if you can manage).

I am retiring my pen today. It actually had to be smacked into signing something today... So it's retired. I think I've used this pen since I've moved here to Logan. I've lost it at least three times; once in a car, once in someone elses house (at least once) and then just misplacing it or leaving it here. It's a real trooper. Yes, yes I am talking about my pen.

And I spent $7.01 on two really cool books today, two that are going into my library project. I bought the King James translation of the Bible for a dollar. A DOLLAR! I needed a bigger one, and this one's likely to endure with being hardback and thick pages, not that scary gold leaf stuff that you think you're going to destroy. And in a ironic note, I picked up the Origin of Species by Charles Darwin (as if you didn't know). It cost the bulk of that, of course, and was the only copy they had. I didn't plan on buying anything and promptly left the store, but that's only the second Origin of Species I have ever seen, and in it's entirety and glory of being hard bound. So that doubles my library project. The other two books being a combination Illiad/Oddyssey and the rather unillistrated notebooks of one Leonardo DiVinci. I find the latter rather dissapointing, but I can claim to have them nonetheless. It just means procurring his illustrated notebooks (a copy of course) at some future date. But I'm excited about what I gathered today. At some point I'll need to seperate myself from the world for enough time to read and study these works. I guess I have a summer coming up... We'll see about that.

Some other developements, but not worth mentioning until more is gleaned. Go about your lives. This is not the blog you're looking for.

"Move along, move along."

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definately isn't for you."

So I'm incredibly bored, and worried. Not a very good combination.

I've just about given up on going to Georgia. I might actually have means of getting a vehicle, the only thing that's really holding me back. But I need transportation to finalize that, and a driver's license which also requires a vehicle... So I'm back into the impossibilities that I can't deal with or beat. Impossible things I have been before. Improbable things I have slaughtered, but this breed has no mercy: it's the catch 22. You can't get a job without experience, can't get experience without a job. Now replace job with credit and experience with a credit card (or just about anything that will give you credit). And then you can see what's frustrating. I face down my first final tomorrow. Am I the only kid in the universe that hates college because it's EASY? This doesn't even stem from an arrogance about my awesome limitless intellect... I find that hard to find... It stems from the huge backstep in challenge. I am so bored. People called me nuts for taking so much last year, and it was a breeze (people being teachers). And this year two of my three finals are going to be multiple choice, only. One has about 100 questions, the other maybe 25. And then I have stats which was the "Statistics for idiots for retards who don't have very much math knowledge." No offense to those in that class that are challenged by it, I mean it, but I jumped off a cliff this year with my education, and am not happy about spending that much money on uselessness. Yeah, I get about 13 credits, but if I had CLEPed out like I could have, I'd have doubled my credits (likely, I think you get 8-25 credits when you pass) and be well on my way to graduating even sooner than I think now. So I'm thinking I'm going to try and CLEP out of most of the math classes so that I can just move on to something mathematicians do, or just get out into the Physics of things and graduate early.

I'm sorry, I'm horrible. The only kid in the nation that actually wants a challenge, that actually wants his education to be worth the money he spent for it. I spent about $300 on those 40+ credits that I have now. If that. And here I am spending $2,000 on things that I could have done a long time ago. C'mon, in Stats we're using tables to find our answers. Sound like 5th grades multiplication to anyone else?

I'm not in all that of a great mood right now. I hate telling people something's happening and then it not; i.e. going to Georgia. If I end up going, you'll hear about it when I'm THERE. Sheesh. People think I'm a freakin' yo-yo when it comes to things like this. I always try and give the heads up when I think I'm moving, but because I gave you warning, it changes things when it's a false alarm. So if you hear from me in a few months and find out I'm in another country (let alone another state) you'll find out that I moved.

I guess it's not worth trying to work both ends of the situation. It rarely works out, and even less pays off... I'm going to have to see if I can salvage my job. I applied at Convergys, heaven knows if they're going to do anything with that...

I need to go shooting or something like that. I need something to help me focus, to get my mind zoned in and off of everything that's stupid... Put simply. I just don't have anything up here to do that with. I have a couple of friends, but I haven't had time for anything until recently.

So I'll have to see about student loans tomorrow, probably, and/or see if someone can drive my mooching ass all over the state. Provo counts as all over the state. Oh, and then the persons got to be daft enough to let me borrow their car for a driver's test or something...

Now you might see why I'm not counting on going anymore: need a car, need a license, need transportation to get the above. Need to blow things up. I guess the first person shooter's are helping a little bit, but it's not as exciting playing them for the 9 millionth time.

I'm going to stop whinning now. I hope.

Oh, and I got that quote while surfing in my boredness. I found a quotes website with Murphy's Laws, too. It's definately a keeper.

A true test of one's identity.

So I wasn't doing so badly until I decided to be an idiot, and then it came crashing in around me. This, perhaps is why it's so hard, because all that it is, the loose denial, is too weak to sustain any sort of truth. A half truth blows it out of the water, and that's been the problem all along.

I never thought I would say it, but I miss friends. I miss being around laughter, around joy. Even those up here that sort of are friends don't have anything like the sense of humor that I do. Of course no one does, but up here it's different. It's not even the same world. So the true test of self identity has got to be what you do when you're alone. What do you do when no one is around to manipulate your moods, when you are bored and alone? Most people don't deal with that, most people would probably kill to avoid it. I feel like some people I used to know did. But me? I seek it out, to test myself in new ways.

I've been talking about truths in a vaccum, it's quite a story, I'm sure. And I figured something out, perhaps I knew it already, but it's always discovery, rediscovery and improvement with me. But personal truth exists in a vacuum. It's you when you are alone. Perhaps that's enlightenment. It's assuredly the first step. I'm actually thinking that enlightenment is knowing what you're going to do in any situation. I've boasted that before, with any seriousness? Not really. I am on that path, I would hope, but I definately took the wrong turn at Albuquerque, the catch is that I wasn't paying enough attention and couldn't get back to that spot if I tried. At least not without some outside help, something aside from "follow your nose" I'm thinking.

I'm on the verge of another wormhole in life, a threshold (long story again) and I'm not sure I'm going to make this one. Of course, that's how they always feel until I'm safe on the other side. Maybe this fits better than I thought, I'm probably already there (violating time and space of course) and just don't know it yet. I need a vehicle. Such a trite thing. Everything else is gravy and easily within my grasp. I just have to go to the dark side so that I can win. Suppose that's always been the answer...?

Hmm... What I really need is some intellectual stimulation. No offense, but really... There's none fore me lately. No face-to-face arguments with my teachers, peers, or anyone for that matter. I find new things out, but it's a little more difficult to verify the credibility on your own.

Rambling noted. Termination protocol activated.

Standing down from DefCon 1

So today marked the end, in theory, of this weekend's little war. Saturday was a weapons test of a prank that brought in the threat of World War on Sunday. The gauntlet was thrown, and answered. And if jobs were in the line of fire, they were totally going down.

So this morning they had the DM convinced that the problem was on our end. Which our GMIT assured him he wasn't recieving a fair and balanced view. And at 7 she came in and tore into those two, while Richard was sitting near too. I just wish that I had been involved. There were some things that were dropped, as I knew they would be, and I could have shown pictures to disprove some of their lies. Predictably (and what I hoped for) they complained about us again, which I had 80 pictures to refute. And they slimed and sidestepped their way to an unhappy truce. The GMIT still probably wants them fired, but it'd be cutting off her nose to spite her face if she did it now. She needs replacements first. Only a short time away, I'd imagine.

But it's over, for now. The unilateral talks proved effective, and the weapons readyness has returned to normal. All I needed was a word and I would have pushed that button, quite likely sending them away with no job if they had pushed it. I hate that situation. I want it to be known that in no way did I want ANYONE'S job on the line. I don't like messing with people's lives on any caliber like that. But they decided to escalate it to that point after a bit of a prank, after they decided that their lack of good sense (and a sense of humor) should give way to hate. So I got written up again for it, but that was before the meeting, and I don't know (or rightly care much beyond my pride) about what the final outcome is.

Tomorrow starts my final preperations for my new job. I was approved for a $300 credit limit, something I wasn't planning on getting. And I need to see if some places will finance me with no credit so that I can get a vehicle. That would be very nice...

All that and more this week. And then just two more days at Carl's Jr...

This better pull off or I'm forked. I have minor doubts about it. 99.99% assuredness just isn't good enough. And I'm about 82% sure... Lol.

No worries, nothing to hold me back, anyways.

Until next war...

Coolest program EVER!

I just downloaded a program called Celestia that allows you to navigate the known universe. It's so awesome. It has scientific data, such as distance, on each one. And if you really have that kind of time you can apparently build your own universe with it, adding new discoveries as well.

It's awesome!

Go here if you want to check it out: www.shatters.net/celestia

Woe be unto those who cross me.

Give me a break.

Not only didn't they take a joke, they got pissed off about it. We do a little overstocking, they complain. The only thing that I did to them remotely resembling cruel was to hide every writing utensil in the store from them. Which they still had one. But I hid the coffee, too. But that's it. And all the sudden we're childish and assholes. Which is beautiful coming from them, who have been complaining about the same things like broken records for months. So today was round two. Quite a bit less agressive. The greatest minds in the store came together and steered it into a manageable, and altogether more appealing, direction. We basically have their jobs in our hot little hands.

After closing better and better every night, and yes - overstocking last night, we did even one more up tonight. We got the cooks involved. So we read their complaints and libelous materials (you would think that a journalism major would be more carefull) and we were left in wonderment when they left the EXACT messes for us that they claim that we leave for them. So tonight I have mountains of proof. I took nearly 80 photographs with my new camera phone, before and after pictures, of our nice clean store. OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS EVER EVEN BEEN HINTED AT BEING DIRTY. And I even have a voice recording of the shiftleader calling me an asshole. It is rather faint, but you can hear her say asshole and me smugly say "Thank you" at the end of the recording for her giving me something for which I can fire her for. Not to mention that they left nasty messages in the computer for Richard with the same tone and vocabulary.

So 80 pictures of our clean store for the GMIT (General Manager in Traning) and for the District Manager (DM). Whom of course they threatened to get involved over our "childishness". And I have all the proof I need to get them fired. We're not out to impress them, we're out to get the GMIT's attention so that she knows what's going on, which she has for weeks now. And if they decide to take anything to the DM, then I have audio that I can play for him and pictures to show. They're going to get me for going in the office and moving some pens around, for stocking things too high, and for moving a box. All minor pranks that were meant to annoy. And they come at me after harrassing us for weeks and think they're going to do anything to me for something that minor?

Anyways, it was a frustrating, and fulfilling day. We actually hope this time that they complain, because we have mountains of evidence in support of our case. And if they don't, we've also won, but a much smaller victory. The GMIT has even considered, strongly, pulling a surprise inspection on them in the morning to see how they are doing. To see what they are doing. I of course plan to be there to defend my case if need be. And again Tuesday morning when the DM shoes up.

They've definately messed with the wrong people this night.

Here we go again.

So today I went through an insane and in depth level of meticulousness to stick it to two people at work, AGAIN. It wasn't the same person as before, but these two have been assholes lately too. So we decided to take their advice to heart and do as much as possible. The last thing they complained about: "We DO NOT have time to do your job for you. Why can't you stock, it takes like two minutes." I love that one, it slays me. We hardly neglect our tasks, after all it is our sole responsibility at night to make sure that we are slaves to day crew's will and to make sure that everything is ship-shape. They never help with anything, even the things that they are supposed to do. But the fact that they don't have TWO MINUTES to do something that anyone can do, but they can write a nasty note about it. Perfect.

Anyways, so we spent about half an hour over stocking as much as we thought reasonable. Putting way too much into the areas that they are designated and then I took it further. I unstocked things that they'll need for breakfast (something we never have to stock and go no where near, usually) and moved the regular coffee on them. So they have one packet of strait up coffee and a box full of decafe, and they're likely not going to find it. But I hope they spend a while looking, it's not all that difficult. Same with the pens. I hid all of them, save one because Richard told me he left it out. ALL OF THEM, even the pens that we mark our bills to make sure they aren't counterfeit. Again, not difficult to find with some effort. And we put cup holders so high that I had to get a step ladder to finish. I took pictures so that we could show the acting general manager. We expect to catch hell for it and want to be represented fairly. I expect the manager to get a phone call rather early about it, but I doubt she'll do anything to us as these two piss off everyone.

I don't usually do this, don't take it on myself to make the errors of their ways so public and so open, but they have insisted for months to claim a superior attitude and quite litterally bitch (there is no substitute word, sorry) about our jobs which we bust our asses for, while simultaneously pissing all over us (figuratively) by never doing the selfsame things that they are complaining about!! I have to come in every day and clean up their messes from lunch, and the cooks always have to do both their dishes and ours and then day crew has the gaul to COMPLAIN? You can see that it's clearly frustrating and reasonably so.

I'll update you tomorrow. I have to work closing through Monday, but am off until next saturday and sunday (closing again) which those will be my last two days.

I wasn't going to, but...

I wasn't going to post, but this couldn't be denied:

http://www.ledger-enquirer.com/mld/ledgerenquirer/news/columnists/tim_chitwood/11281515.htm

It's an artical about a fight between Confederate soldiers from the Civil War and a crew of Trekkers. It's good for a laugh, and many of my readers are fans (at least the ones I know about).

In typical fashion I'm behind on my posting.

I'll remedy that later today. But this isn't counting against my one a day, I'm going to sleep before now and then.

Right, so the weekend.

So the weekend wasn't all that bad, I might have some company this up and coming weekend, if my cousin ever calls me...

We met up with some old missionary friends that have known my grandparents for who knows how long... It's always neat because they bring such unique stories. They are on mission in Africa, Tansania this most recent time, and I even was able to add some change to my international treasury. I have coinage from several nations now, and would need to catalogue it to be sure...

But they have very interesting stories to tell, that's always fun.

We were up near Vernal for it, and it was a trailer park where my grandparents are staying now. While we were up there my brother, cousins and I created Strongbadia. Lol. We just grabbed some miscelaneous rocks and carved our names into other rocks, etc. It was pretty funny, actually. We hope to go back next year, but I don't have huge hopes of anything still being there.

Today was a long day. Up at 7 for a class, rush down to the mall to attempt to get a new cell phone plan (I need one that will cover me in Georgia) and then back in time to do homework and get to my other class. I didn't get a cell phone then because the company I thought about going with (Verizon) wanted a $400 deposit just to sign up. Un-freakin'-believable.

So I went back to class, etc, just to steam down to Sprint's store on 12th North. I was told by the same guy that offered me the job that it's where he gets his and it was only $120 for his deposit. So I went down there and $200 and about an hour later, I have a brand new camera phone. It's actually quite cool, and just about exactly what I wanted to pay a month for it.

So I'm excited about that, if it can be called excitement when I'm so tired... I'm getting ready to hit the sack, just going to try out some other things/check news, etc.

Something interesting to do about the new Pope.

Right.

So I must say that I don't really stay on top of the run of the mill prophecies and end of the world talk, but I did find one a while ago that I thought would be neat to test. Usually I just harrass people with the knowledge that I "know" when the world will end because the internets told me so... But this one I found a bit peculiar because it applied to the near future, with the typical "it's been accurate throughout history" crap.

But this one is still holding true, so good guess, or better?

Here's the part that interested me, because this prophecy of course resurfaced with the dying of the last pope:

"The 111th prophecy is "Gloria Olivae" (The Glory of the Olive). The meaning of the olive is unclear. The Order of Saint Benedict – not St. Malachy – has claimed that this pope will come from its ranks and Saint Benedict himself prophesied that before the end of the world his Order, known also as the Olivetans, will triumphantly lead the Catholic Church in its final fight against evil."

That's a bit to do on the interpretation of the second to last prophecy. Like all good ones, it's vaigue. But I read this about a month ago, and to find it talking about someone from the order of St. Benedict who is going to be the next pope. And now to have our new Pope be named Benedict? A nice convenient coincedence, if anything. But it shall be interesting.

I know that the guy isn't elected based off of his age, but he's already 78. So it seems that this prophecy will unfold well within my lifetime. The next Pope is supposedly Peter the Roman, and his coming will signal the beginning of the end. He's also the last Pope, as the seven hilled city (Rome) will be destroyed and then the great judge will judge. According to the thing. I don't know why these are so interesting to me, but that will be quite the thing... I had actually sort of hoped that I'd miss the end of days and that it'd happen on someone else's watch. But if he's coming like a robber in the night, I'm not sure how much credibility I can give even the most accurate prophet...

T-minus really soon, and counting...

Well at this rate, I will explode about time for next summer. Take that as you want it, but the cycles are incredibly close together now, as never before, and that's not a good thing...

I just got an e-mail from a friend on the East Coast and the news wasn't good at all. It's not bad between us, but she's going through some very bad mojo. And I was on the phone with a friend with unpleasant consequences... I thought that she had subdued that beast... I'm back, all at once, to the wonders of my past life. I'm not really complaining as such as musing, whatever you would call a dark, brooding, musing... I'm lost...

Four months ago, I was here. Can you believe that? Almost exactly. On the eve of too many spectacular things. Too many things happening at once. FOUR MONTHS AGO! The cycles have always been somewhat predictable. Two-and-a-half years or so... Not FOUR MONTHS. I'm sucked into the same feelings. And just as helpless. There's a lot of things that aren't right, don't and aren't fitting... It's a very poorly concocted story with the same plot. And the feelings are stronger than ever: deja vu, someone's watching, etc. I'm stuck completely in memory and dream.

I haven't said anything, but when I go into the sun light, it's more surreal than it used to be. I feel a limited warmth, but it's not as it should be. And my vision is clouded as though I'm in a dream, sleepy, waiting to wake up. It's mostly like that when I'm out doors...

I don't understand what I'm supposed to do anymore. Obviously I haven't been beaten enough as my demons are coming round for a second fight. Obviously they, or I've, missed something to the point that it needs be repeated. And yet I'm not going to be preparing for four months. I'm most likely going to be in Georgia. I'm putting together the puzzle pieces this week to make it happen. I'm setting up the checkmate, raising the blade on the guillotine. No one has given me anything to stay for, really. There hasn't been any reactions except for: "What about school." I suppose that was the only thing that need be worried about... "Give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around." Always liked song for some reason.

Things aren't right. Maybe I'm just tired, etc. Hopefully I'll be cured soon, I thought I was. This is going to be a lifelong fight, I suppose...

But today hasn't been all lost and bewonderment. Just the last hour, really, stacked with the last months... I just don't wish to break the thoughts here. They need be faced down and dealt with. Not a trouble, just a chore. I'll post the main events of today later...

Well it's about time to let the bag out of the cat, I think.

Don't worry, the title is just supposed to be there, it doesn't mean anything, really. I just didn't want to run the chance of ruining a unique title that I'll want to use later.

Our evil campaign came to a close today in the fastest DND game I've ever been in. Josh's character fell to a charm and made Veccna a God. And that's pretty much it. The same players that stopped Veccna, ended up creating him. I don't really like that, actually, but it's better that it was Josh and not me. He wasn't actually part of the original party that stopped Veccna, but there was only one missing that was in the original party...

But I guess there's a more important thing that went on tonight... It's actually quite startling how good it felt. I mean, it's nice usually, but it was sort of euphoric this time. I'm purposely being ambiguous as to maintain an ammount of deniability, but the person that would want to hear it should get the loud and clear. I suppose it's a 10-4 on something that I've been hoping to hear. That I shouldn't hide from my past, because there wasn't anything that I did wrong. That I don't need to completely change from it. And that's nice. Because lately I've been suspended above something that doesn't exist. I'm basically building upon my experiences, and to remove such a large step means that everything built on that would be suspended in nothingness. I never really thought I could deny it out of my life, and after all, that would make me just as bad. But I had hoped to overwrite it with something better. Another benefit I hope to achieve with my new job. My pending new job.

I've only told a handfull of people about it, actually. But that's the other main topic of this posting. I might find myself living in Georgia in about a month. Yes, that's going to be a shock to most of you. But I think that it's something that I can't deny, can't turn down right now. It's for money, mostly, but it's also for so many other and better reasons as well. Ok, it actually can't beat the fact that I'll be able to pay for college with it, so that's the ultimate reason. But I'm renting out my soul for four months to get a tremendous amount of money for the time. So it's plenty worth it, at least looking at it now. So those of you that are lurking out there, reading and not commenting, who know me well and can find it in your ability to help: the biggest thing I need is a vehicle right now. I'd prefer something rugged and with about 30 miles to the gallon or better, but just as important as that is that it needs not to break down. And affordable. Those are all a tie for first on my list, some are a little more flexible providing the other two are taken care of, at least. But not the breaking down part.

I still haven't made a final decision, because I'm waiting for something that will make it impossible to do it. And then there are some things that I've been accused of, not really fair to me, that I'm trying to defend here... And don't worry, I'm not running away from anything, though it's crossed my mind. Hillariously he first question is "What about school?" Seriously, that's been the first question from at least 95% of the people that I've told, if not all of them... But I'm doing this for school, for my future, and so I don't end up killing some people that I currenty work with. But it's neat, it's a job that you mostly work by yourself, not competing with other employees, I'll have a roommate, but that actually should help, providing we get along, lol. Anyways...

If I can find a car, I can't see a reason not to go. I use the word "car" loosely because I don't care a super ammount as long as I can get it in about a week or two... This is all very involved. Much like my life is always. I have the uncanny knack of being rushed in the most important aspects of my life. Had to get everything set for college in a week, so I guess this is a little bit better, but always at the last moment... I had four months, before, why not then?

So many questions like that...

Watched some Hitchiker's Guide, a Brittish sitcom version, and a lot actually made sense. Usually Brittish humor isn't as dry, but holy moly... I finally got into it a few episodes in, but more wrapped up in the quotes that friends have used, piecing it together and some of the plot, if there is one...

But that's about it, I suppose. Any of you reading out East, for some reason or another, don't be afraid to drop me a line here or e-mail me or something. I don't plan on having huge ammounts of down time, but I'll need to soak up the little that I do with something to take my mind off of things. Or occupy it better, anyways.

Legalese! And I wanted to be a lawyer?

Holy carp, batman. No, it's a carp, and it's holy!

But seriously. I just got done reading one of THE most boring things in the entire world. And it may be my next binding contract. Stupid adulthood and it's binding contracts...

So I might have escaped the dark clutches of Carl's Jr. But I won't say too much for sure yet. I still need to talk to a few people before I make any assurances. But it would require me to move to a far away land for a few months and would be so worth it by the numbers.

I'm just concerned as to the taint that it might add to my life. Not that I'll be exposed to something other than Utah, I've desperately needed that, but what it might do to the streamlined shape. Right now: it would make it streamlined. Flexible hours (basically they are rigid with the possibility of saying "No, I don't think I'll get to that today"), super pay compared to what I'm getting now, and a whole bunch of new experiences. I'm so jazzed about it. But as with most things these days, I'm taking a step back, looking really hard and saying "Wait a minute." Actually it's more along the lines of "This is so easy it must be a trap!"

But if it's everything that it looks like, I'll be able to pay my way through college for working a third of the year, if necessary. I'm so stoked about the numbers. I hope this is what I've been needing...

And I did it, I called a girl today. No, it wasn't my mom. No, I don't have a sister. She wasn't related to me, even! And I called to hang out, not for homework. Just to try something new for a change. We both had the day off, and she didn't know I was calling. Heh. But it would be fun if she were home...

Lol. Stupid life. Always wearing a fancier cloak for the same old crap. I'm freakin' 19 and still feel like a little kid, a little highschooler half the time. No offense to you in highschool. I just had all of these thoughts, hopes and expectations... Now their within reach. I can reach out and touch them. But they're cloaked in the insecurities and childishness of... Childhood.

Cah-razy.

Oh, and I didn't have much sleep, if that explains to you why I'm a little on the wierd/wired side. That and a bit too much excitement that I'm just now running down from.

"I'm evil..."

So I came home from work to find Juan and his girlfriend asleep on the couch. She usually leaves when he falls asleep, and he usually wakes up when I come in because he's paranoid. The fact that I found them helpless like that brought sadistic thoughts. Not anything really, I just could have poured water on them or something... He would have hated me, and I would have declared yet another war on someone that might pummel me. But in all fairness, the current wars weren't declared by me, but I will end up victorious. Defeat is not an option, never has been.

So I went in to find my cleaning list defiled with bullshit from some of those from day crew. I know both of who did it and anticipate others, but that's because of the multiple colors of ink. That's cool, I'll just repost it, and then maybe with something back.

Tomorrow's going to be busy if I attempt everything that I'm setting out to do. It's not like I won't have the time. One of those things includes enhancing my social life. That ought to prove an interesting thing... Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I took preliminary steps this evening.

So I have an off day, if you haven't noticed (tomorrow, that is) which will include two classes, a meeting with my advisor, some exploring of campus and quite possibly something fun if I'm lucky. There seemed like there was more... Hmm...

Other than that I have no idea. But there will be plenty of work involved... After all, I need to find a way to pay for my next semester. I only really see two options, and the system hasn't ever favored me in the past (ok, it did once last year), so I'm only planning on one. No one really likes that option, have a bad feeling about it, but if it works, I will do it.

And no, it doesn't involve donating my body/brain to science nor selling it in any other way, your fears are baseless in that regard.

An essay of sorts.

So today I wrote down a thought that I wish to publish here or elsewhere at one time or another...

But it's a little coarse for what it's purpose should be as of yet. But I came to understand a bit more about the world (like of countries, etc.) today and came to a metaphore of sorts because of it.

Anyways...

Today was a pretty good one. A pain and tester of patience is gone. But he was temporary anyways. And I saved the day at least thrice today. I don't want to brag about it here, because their trivial and elementary, but I was very pleased with myself. Elementary use of chemistry in a cleaning issue at work, and two more useages of the ability to solve problems. It was fun, the most in depth thinking I've had in a while. And that's what saddens me...

But here I am, I'm about to go to sleep because I should go to class in the morning... And hopefully I will find the gym that I was pointed to. One of my co-workers told me of the University gym that she goes to occasionally, and I realized that if I could pin down my sleeping schedule a bit, I could hit it every day for about an hour and a half. I'm excited at the prospect. The reason I don't run more is because I prefer a good-sized track, hopefully indoors, so I don't freeze to death at 6 in the morning... But it should help me get into the shape that I want to be in. I just need a diet that will support that sort of living. So I might actually get off of the 95% Carl's Jr. diet. Which I know you think must be horrible, but it's not super bad. I don't eat a lot of the grease foods and have a sort of variety...

So that means more shopping. For food. I buy a little more each check, so at this rate I should be able to sustain myself at home in about 20 million years. :-)

But if I constrain my time a bit better, I should be a bit healthier. Meaning I'll have time to eat more, healthier, etc. So no more late nights unless it's work, I'm thinking, or at least I'll suffer less over sleeping. And it's a schedule that won't leave me excuses for avoiding any of my classes.

I'm glad you found that enlightening.

Better to be loved, or feared?

A great Machiavellian question to be sure. One of the many that he discussed in his book, The Prince, and I find myself confronted with it tonight. Do I want them to fear me, or love me so that they can come to know the greatness of betrayal later? All over a prank.

No, I'm not bitter, but I am toying with this on an intellectual scale. But let's back up to the beginning of the relevant parts tonight:

Richard asked me if I knew anything about plumming. In typical fashion I replied with my wits saying that if you flushed a toilet it goes down, if it doesn't go down it usually overflows and you should fix that. He gave me a helpless sort of look and I asked him what he needed, specifically. So he took me into the back to the sinks and said that the middle one wouldn't drain. I looked at the cook and asked him if there were any knives in there for obvious reasons. He said no and waived his hand through the water and moved the soap about so I could see the bottom. Always trying the obvious first, I went to drain the sink to see how stuck it was. As soon as I released the water, I knew it was a trap, in fact my interrupted thought process was "That was too fu..." cking easy would have been my finished thought... So I proceeded to be covered with a healthy amount of cold water. A fire of a rage and a goodly ammount of it directed at both Richard and Cameron, the one who actually orchestrated this manuever.

The first time that I have been pranked via a bucket of water, so I'd say that alone makes it blogworthy...

So to try and keep this short, (and without telling you the rest that unfolded) I told Richard that there are only two ways to attone (because earlier in the day I put pickle juice in his lemonade to get him back for the ketchup), he could either help me get payback or I could get him again. he would prefer to help, especially after I told him that my initial thought would be to wait for a few weeks until Ray came back from vacation, and then on my way out one night deflate his tires. Which would make him push the car accross the street to 7-11 to fill them up. He thought that would have been cruel. A good thing to hear for me.

But we've set some rules that should make it more difficult for me: No peanutt butter - Cameron's alergic, nothing may damage his hearing aides - he wears one to each ear - making the tactic he used on me off limits, and all of it is to be devoid of health/property damage to keep it all in good fun. And thus let the games begin.

So in the mood of things I pulled some things that should irritate the hell out of the openers in the morning. Switched a few things that will prove to be very irritable to those not paying attention. It makes me proud since the lot of them irritate the hell out of me... But the flip side is that I'll have to work at 11 AM... Oh, well, it'll be funny to see a tech come in tomorrow and tell them that their equipment is merely moved, not malfunctioning...

"It was a farking trap, I tell you!"

And so it was...

In an effort to make it a bit easy to keep up with me, I'm going to try to make my posts as concise as possible, and all at once. No more triple or more a day posts. But that's a try, for my first one, I think it's going to work...

So to start it out, I got this in an e-mail:

"Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the
computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of
hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set
up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge
who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.

They faxed.

They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments.

They downloaded.

They did spreadsheets.

They wrote reports.

They created labels and cards.

They created charts and graphs.

They did some genealogy reports.

They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went
off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:

"It's gone! It's all GONE!

"I lost everything when the power went out!"

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not
fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES

--
Jim Hatridge
Linux User #88484"

I thought it was cute.

And now on to the headline:

Predictably, after busting my ass on a two hour close and detail cleaning the garbage cans last night (not to mention ending up wearing half of what I ended up cleaning off...), I recieved a nasty complaint on my horrible closes. Go figure. They were irate about it. They "don't have time" to mop and redo what I do, a far cry from what would have been necessary, and yet they found time. I can admit that my mop job was less than 100%, but considering that I mopped every nook, cranny, crevice, canyon, and corner that I could find (something I've not ever done at this store) AND did their sacred bathrooms, etc... They could have at least noticed something. But no.

So I left them two quaint little traps today: A) I read the "bible" (the OPM, Opperational something Manual) of Carl's Jr. and found out that when detailing the garbages, the doors are to be left open so as to facilitate air drying. So I anticipate getting a complaint that the doors where open, hardly anything since their magnetic and will easily close (and because it's a commandment from the OPM, I'll have it on paper that I'm supposed to do it.) And trap B) is to more or less prove that they have a bias against me, something I hardly think anyone would doubt. I had Rebekah do the heavy lifting (I'm not sure that's the proper spelling of her name, I'm horrible with names, always have been). Which means that she swept and mopped. It took her two hours. She pulled every table and chair and mopped with a great deal of effort. So I'm predicting two grievances tomorrow, neither of which will be properly placed, and one of which may show our young cashier the true nature of one of her superiors. I honestly try and maintain the innocent enthusiasm of our new recruits, something I wish I had kept the whole time, but they absolutely insist on treating them as poorly as the "lifers".

And on another note, as of last night I added something to our "communist jr." routine. By ours, I mean mine. So here's the data: we wear black and red uniforms, we have a yellow smiling star on our black caps, we great everyone with a kind of mock sincerity (something I just now added), we keep everything behind the counter believing that you shouldn't have to get up unless you need to use the restroom or leave, and our superiors couldn't give a shit about us as employees. Not one piece, none. I'm sorry that's a bit coarse, but completely true. I have never seen a member of management give someone even something like a pat on the back or say good job (to my memory and witnessing, to be fair). And I heard from our acting GM last night that the District Manager told her that the cashiers "shouldn't even have time to listen to the radio while cleaning" which is a morale thing to help us calm a bit and help ease the fact that we are busting our asses for our measily $6 an hour. It makes me sick, truly.

Excellent...

This may be a longer post because I wanted to discuss some irony that I noted last night (yes, I'm technically in Friday, but I'm still posting about Wednesday night), and then about tonight/this morning and work and my printer...

So... With no further adieu:

One of the things that this group uses in it's symbolism are the seven "archetypes" as our host prefered to call them. He's very Christian (I thought he was Mormon, actually, but he's the Christian christian... If that makes any sense to you), so he probably prefered to stay away from any pagan references. But none-the-less they are labeled in direction, color, the archetype of person they represent, animal, and "energy" type (emotion). They all govern a fear and an aspiration. Anyways, it came to my attention that I was sitting to the East, the direction of the sun, love, yellow, I forget what the animal is... But what actually was the meaning behind it was not only the direction in which I was sitting, (in regard to the cardinal directions) but the direction I was FACING. I was facing West, the direction of the Magician, owl, intelligence, black... I was FACING away from the east, love, etc. and all that jazz. It was a very interesting thing to me because it was far too coincedental in my eyes. I don't really believe in coincedences (insert Brady's cliche joke here), I believe things happen for a purpose that there is someone setting certain things up to check if we're paying attention. I kinda think it has to do with God's sense of humor. I think he hopes that we'll notice it and find the myrth and irony as he would... Just my tangent on it.

So that's on that one.

I am now also the proud owner of a working printer. Which sadly may be replaced very soon. Instead of sleeping, which may have been advisable, I went out to my stores to taunt myself on what I want for "Christmas" (basically any time I want a gift, but very mainly gifts to myself/things I plan to buy). I found a fax machine/copier/scanner/printer that does all of the above in full color for what I would deem is the low price of $80 appx. Noting that it's Brother (a pun since that's the brand name of the two that I were comparing) was a stout $50 more expensive, and didn't have the hardware the way I wanted (I wanted the tray like a conventional copier so that I didn't have to risk small parcels of paper in a printer/fax like setup) I knew there had to be a catch: I have to buy the ink for the cheaper one. Which isn't so bad, but it's as much as the whole contraption itself. But I'm thinking it over anyways. I think it would prove invaluable, and I've long wanted a scanner in the hopes that it will help to preserve some perishables (or lose-ables). And I think I could live with only needing the black ink for now, much the same as this color printer, because I'd only really be printing for school and personal uses. Don't plan on doing the printing pictures thing, not yet anyways.

And tonight, to cut this short, I was beat to hell by our store. I busted my ass more than I've ever done, maybe not my best work, but very far and beyond what I normally (or have ever for that matter) done. Today was a good day, I think. Very fulfilling and inspiring me to get everyone else to do better too. A long shot I know, I'd also like to be appreciated. Neither I would bet good money on. Worth a shot? Hell yes. I think it very much is so. I am starting to get back to what I want to be. I'm liking this. I might even find it in me to do some things I haven't done for a while. That would be good. But lurking in the background is a sense of greater good. A question that I must answer by month's end. I'm not sure. Still calculating the odds. Not really of success, but of outcomes. What are all the possibilities and how likely. It's a loaded question that takes a bit more forethought than just rushing into it...

And on that reminder, I was taken home by that Allen guy. I think that we actually might pull through. He's a bit coarse, and I don't plan on changing him really. I've been there and done that, too. But I don't think we've actually butt heads on anything with each other since that confrontation. I'm actually glad. I was totally preparing for a worst case scenario. This definately wasn't highly anticipated, but very warmly welcomed.

And even though I'm more sore than I have been in a while...: I would deem this day very excellent. I hope yours are as I hope mine will be.

Idiots.

C'mon man. You've got to be freakin' kidding me...

Some people's children...

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-md.olesker08mar08,1,76004.column?coll=bal-local-columnists&ctrack=3&cset=true

Here's one for you.

After spending about half an hour on it, I finally got the printer installed. It wasn't anything that I was doing wrong, but I had forgotten where I put the CD for it's drivers. So I downloaded some off the net, very easy going in about five minutes. No sweat. But the stupid computer refused to finish installing them. It would just stop, not saying anything was wrong. So by about the third or fourth, or fifth, or you get the point...? After several tries it worked, and it let me print a test and alignment page.

So here's the kicker: it's out of black ink, and for all intents and purposes red. Kinda funny since I know what it was used for. I'm not really griping about it. It just would have been nice to know, like the printer tells me everything else. It tells me when it starts, and stops printing. Pretty neat (it's a verbal que, ok?), but it won't tell me when it's thirsty? So I'll be going to staples and the mall here pretty quickly. I'm excited, but this isn't a speedbump, it's a wall that need be dynamited.

I will win. The printer will be subserviant. In about a couple of hours, hopefully.

And now to clear things up.

Right, this mostly goes out to my befuddled parents, but also as to explain something unique that happened tonight:

I went to Layton, not unique in and of itself, to a men's group thing. Basically it is an organized group dealing with problems on an individual basis. Sounds kinda not making sense? (Like that last sentence...?) But it's more like a way for you to deal with problems on your own terms. The guys are there just to help keep you in line. There wasn't all that much opinion sharing or group help. They didn't tell you that you were right or wrong really. They knew that you would make the right decisions for yourself given the chances. It's mainly a way to assure that you're being true to yourself. You don't do anything you don't want to, and they take a bit of a mystical approach for feel. They don't take any religious slants, but they do use an aweful lot of symbolism, some of which is reflected in ceremony.

If you need to look into the group, it's the Mankind Project, specifically the New Warriors thing. It's about men being men and being in touch with themselves. It starts out kinda iffy and touchy feely, but it's totally about integrity and honesty.

I don't feel I could explain it with enough justice, it's just one of those things you have to experience (and I hate having to say that). And I was plenty skeptical going in. But it was really good. I think it just served as catalyst to some of the things that I do anyways. I'm all about being honest to one's self no matter who and what you are (ok, that's all inclusive, but there are obvious exceptions). And I think I might invite someone to it next time that would leave you all in wonder. But it's the only person in the world that I can think of right now that NEEDS it if they are going to survive. Like they might survive, but in years when they finally learn it, they'll have wished they had known sooner...

Anyways... I'll probably let you know if that happens. I'll see if my current enthusiasm is still there even tomorrow. But I think it needs to be done, whether or not I think it would be wasted on him...

Another Movie.

My source was from the dark side, not really a joke, I'm serious. But this is why I don't deny myself any sorts of information...

Such a pity that the "mighty" have fallen. Good thing I got out when I did, I suppose. It makes it a bit easier to know of such struggles... Right ambiguity, and now the link:

http://boreme.com/bm/MAR05/a/jedi-car-sale/fr.htm

Lost hope.

http://video.craveonline.com/video/index.php?showVideo=592

May not be appropriate for some audiences. Some mild language involved.

Joke.

This was just a little bit too funny to pass up:

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables horseshoe courts, some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast

Oh, yeah.

Part of my luck:

I read something about Revenge of the Sith today that ends five years of debate in my favor. Or however long it's been since Episode One.

And while I'm talking about the Sith. I found this gem: http://omega.med.yale.edu/~pcy5/misc/overlord1.htm.

It's worth a read, and I'm debating about writing a story of it as inspiration. It would be funny, I think.

Today will be lucky and memorable for you.

Oh really?

Kinda funny since I didn't want to be on shift tonight. I wanted to call in so badly. Yesterday I heard that the other shiftleader (the one none of the good guys really like all that much) was closing. I was thinking to myself: "Ha, that poor bugger who has to close with her." Irony: it was me. I love stuff like that... Dork.

Anyways, the fortune was mostly true. The only reason I got online was to make it memorable. It was kind of the dumb luck kind. Things that if you're paying attention, you'll appreciate. The little things.

Like I worked a shift I didn't want to, and it was at a modest pace. I had to work with the guy that I was previously at odds with, and we seem to be doing better. I think he's realising that I'm not the bad guy he was treating me like. There are still things about him that bother me. But it's a bit easier to overlook lately. And the shift leader didn't make it a point to whine and complain all day. It's not fair because lately I've been like that, but she makes it unbearable. To me, mine seems more like co-miserating. She just complains about everything and anything...

But it was pretty decent.

I got to talk to a guy that just was hired at the Space Dynamics Lab. He's going to be doing some programing for a plant simulator, he said. Pretty cool stuff. Named Darrell, or some spelling of the like. Figure I better right it down lest I forget and need it later.

But here's to the memorable part of the fortune. It wasn't all that bad tonight. And my guts doing quite a bit better. I think I was right in my hypothesis... Which sucks.

It goes once more to prove my worst fears...

Lost.

How to beat enemies that will never be vanquished?

You fight and fight and fight...

Your sword, blood of thousands, rusts with age.

Your endurance, never tested, wearies after eons of combat.

I've got nothin'...

I've had to say that a lot. It's fork in the road time. I say fork because it involves the splitting of a path. Or more correctly the reversal of one. But this time I don't think I'm going to take the complete reversal. Many things need to be accomplished. Once again I'm looking for my reset button. Never existing, it'd be hella nice. I don't need an easy button, just one that lets me start over with all that I know now. Yeah, that's cheating, but that's what I'd like.

I'm emotionally drained now, so bear with me if I'm a weaping idiot or something else. I've had a rough week for some reason. I once said that I'd rather have my ups and downs than to ever be content. I'm not so sure anymore. If you ever need me to prove my hypocracy, just ask me when it's summer what I want. And when it's winter. When it's sunny. When it rains. I guess that's not all that fair to my self. I don't mind the rain...

I've skipped classes this week. Don't be agast at me, I don't get anything out of it anyways. I haven't read the book the entire year and got an 84% on the test. Yeah, it could improve, but I really couldn't focus if I tried. At least not on that part... Mind you that's 84% on things that I learned two years ago as a Jr. in high school while I was barely paying attention then...

Anyways...

I'm needing to reset. I hear the woods calling me, but not like it was six months ago. No, this time I am being called back to my roots (no wise cracks) and that's where I feel I need to go. Yeah, I've got this freaky thing going with that (no wise cracks, I mean it).

I haven't been my self lately, I suppose. I don't know really when it started, but it'd be nice not to have to worry about that... Sure, people change, that's life. But the changes I have gone through aren't for the better. They're amplifications of the negative. And I think that's the change that needs to be made. If you ever decide to take up Justinology (now that my secret be spreadeth over this internet), one of the first things that you will notice would be the cycles. The most prominent being the light and the dark. There are eddies in this cycle, but there are larger sections of each if you pay close enough attention. I am a shadow as of late, but I need to come back out into the light. I've done that physically, until very recently I've done it mentally, now I need to do it emotionally. Right now I feel overwhelmed, but that may be because I am completely exhausted. And an idiot for staying up...

I'm not really lost, I just need to step back and seperate myself from what's been going on lately. It's worked in the past plenty of times, that's my safety mechanism. Maybe... But there's been a lot of shit going on and it looks like a daunting task. Usually I have some sort of support. I don't need my hand held, I just need some place to relax. That's all I've ever needed. I have no relaxation. Sunday, please let it come Sunday...

I'm going to sleep now.

And yeah, I like my alone time, but I shouldn't have to be like that all of the time. I realized that my ultimate would be that there be a pool of people that I just call up when I want to do something... Maybe there is... I just don't really have that sort of time anymore... At least not predictably...

Right... Sleep...