We're doomed.

Ever spend too much money? I do it all the time, lol. Boy am I glad that I'm still single in the sense that if I screw up my money, I'm not totally fubared as I have very few obligations.

I just am pretty thankful for the fact that I can feel the pain of spending too much money on trifles and not really get into any trouble about it.

I managed to pick up a RTS game that is changing and setting the standards for the genre to come: Battle for Middle Earth. Last copy, half price at $20 (more like 1/3 price, I think) and good, good stuff.

I managed to finally get around to picking up a new optic mouse too, good stuff there, seems good so far, but we'll see if it keeps pace later.

Though while I was picking it up at WalMart, I was introduced to something else I hadn't really thought of, which of course, led to more detail:

Policing each other. Ok, now I've thought about it quite often to be truthful, it's a super common thing on the local and religious scale (thus being practically the same), but I've not often thought of it on the national/international stage or the differences between looking out for someone, and policing them.

Policing someone: Setting up laws that prohibit a certain action based off of set standards and criteria. Example: WalMart has to make sure that people under 18 don't get a hold of fireworks or mature games.

Looking out for someone: If someone is doing something entirely legal that you don't feel is right, you're concerned for their wellbeing physically, emotionally and spiritually. Numerous examples, I think we have plenty we could think of on a day by day basis.

What concerns me is our continuing acceptance of an external policing force, i.e. the government. In whatever form (being local or national), our government has gotten more and more involved in what should be legal at what age and why. They're working on legislation that makes it illegal for parents to buy their OWN CHILDREN R rated movies or mature games. As exampled above, that would be far up from just limiting them as they are now.

Why is this ok? Why is it ok to police that level of morality? Last I checked, I have never run amok commanding legions of evil to the death of all. Sure, you haven't given me the opportunity yet, but neither have I run around with a pistol shooting everyone in sight. Are these the things we actually fear our children doing? Give me a break, I think you've been watching a bit much Dr. Phil and Oprah. As much as we would like to say games or movies put bad ideas into our heads that we impusively act on, when what we really need to be focusing on is our self-control.

That's always been our downfall in these areas. Controlling the use of violent games won't lessen the number of rapes, shootings, bank robberies or wars. As much as we would like to think it would, they were happening before we were in the Bronze Age, let alone before television.

You want to control what your kids play with/recreate with? That starts in the home. That starts with you as a parent and with what you let them do with their friends and while their at home. Hard? Damn right, why shouldn't it be?

But why does your lack of control have to extend beyond the home to someone else's children? You can't keep tabs on your children enough while they're at a friends house, or while their even within your own home, so you legislate it? Stop them at the source of even getting the material. Hell, I'm surprised you didn't try to ban the games all together.

What I'm advocating is rights, the rights for people to do what they want within the reason of law. But when laws become extraneous and unreasonable? There can't be justice there. When you fail in "looking out for someone" you shouldn't resort to policing everyone.

I don't see the justice, or the right for people to be restricted in their purchases unless there is a direct viable harm that can be proven. The abstract fear that someone "might" run amok on a killing spree, with a rocket launcher, as they had seen in Halo or "enter whichever here" is a little assinine. It's not a result of the games, it's a result of lack of self control and proper values.

Look after your family by enforcing your values, by explaining your values and why they have them, not by legilating it on the local population because "omfg, you can't play that! It has a gun in it!"

Glory of the future?

Isn't it great when you get hit on by a robot...?

Like who makes this shit up, really?

Some person just nerds out in his basement thinking "I have you now!" when he sends out a robot programmed to hit on you...?

Welcome to the internets...

The sad thing is that it was a message to one of my profiles that would have hit me regardless...

What's wrong with our modern world...?

Why, how, where did these things become OK?

So much...

None of this makes sense, really. It never has. The more I grow, the more I learn, the more I see, the less the fabric of reality is tangible.

When you experience something, is the thing you experience first hand more real than the second hand? Or is it a happy median that "some" of the things you experience first hand don't count/can be ignored because they're extraneous.

If first hand experiences rule supreme, then the Media has no hold over my life and never will. If first hand experiences are supreme, then the world would be a better place, wouldn't it? No acting on impulses, no being fooled by fauly information, but then you wouldn't be able to act when you need to, right? Like intelligence of some enemy stronghold. You weren't there, you didn't see it, but you ordered an attack on it without knowing, first hand, any of the details...

An interesting thing.

I have never first handedly experienced any of the things we should bemoan today. But I feel that they need it if they are true.

But are they true? Where's the truth now-a-days? I have no idea. There's no way to sort your way out from the highway. No one does things empirically anymore. If I ask you for evidence, you can't provide it, and really, neither can I. So we debate with the gut instead of the mind, we manuever instead of pin. Where is the truth in that? We are both wrong regardless of whether or not the position we hold is truest. There is no more truth to be found in these ventures because all of the pieces have been lost. Lost track of, or never held.

What can be trusted now? What can be relied upon...?

Are we there yet...?

This would be the second post of the day as well. Don't hold your breath, but there may be three.

I win, I am victorious!

I now have the internets. No more "Hey, can I check e-mail?". No more "Hey, can I get online?" and certainly not anymore "Hey, I have to go because Dad needs online."

While I can share as well as the next guy, that just plain sucks and you all know it.

So here I am, for the first time in months on highspeed internet that is mine, my own, my precious...

Ok, so I share it with my family through the router, but I'm not going to notice it until we all need to download something large at the same time, lol.

Running multiple downloads... That's a beauty, checking my e-mail and chatting? Holy cow...

I missed that like you wouldn't believe.

And so here I am, up early on a day off on my second christmas. Snow on the ground and new highspeed internet? Totally wicked. And I have the whole day to do it in.

And so much to do... So much...

I shall see you online, I guarantee it.

Yoda... You seek Yoda...

Whoa... Watch out, this is number 2, don't miss the one below.

I had to post this because I felt a severe need to express that I remember what it was like when things were cool:





Ah, the 90s. A truly vital part of America, I must say. Can you relate to any of these? Because if you can, then you will seriously laugh your butt off. However, if you are under the age of 16, you should not repost this. ;D Just because you were born in '92, that doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons, and half of this stuff existed before you even started school! Anyway, I put a * next to all the ones that pertained to me. Enjoy this!

You know you're a 90's kid if...


*You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

*You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

*You've worn skorts and felt stylish

*You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

*You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop

*You know that "Whoa!" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

*You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

*You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs

*You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

*You remember reading "Goosebumps"

*You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

*You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

*You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

*You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

*You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

*You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together. (Okay, so I did but that doesn't make Power Rangers cool!)

*You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

*You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

*You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

*" Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE"
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stumbed he's toe oe oe and thats the end end end of the elephants show ow ow

*You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

*You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

*You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

*You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

*You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

*You played and or collected "Pogs"

You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger

*You owned a Skip It

*You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

*You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

*All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.) (Heck yes!)

*Yikes! pencils and erasers were what the cool kids used.

*You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

*You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

*You remember a time before the WB.

*You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

*You know the Macarena by heart.. LOL

*" Talk to the hand" ... enough said

*You thought Brain would finally take over the world

*You always said, "Then why don't you make me!?"

*Your mom made you wear those neon colored windbreakers

Repost this if you were a 90's kid and can relate to any of these!!







I was going to post another one, but perhaps later. When it's a bit more appropriate...

Rumors of my demise have been greatly misunderestimated.

Behold my return is within my grasp! You have no idea how good it feels... How dangerous, how dark...

As of Friday you should be seeing me online quite a bit more, like whenever I get the freakin' chance, does that work for you?

A force to be reckoned with indeed.

Barring a hugely dissappointing turnaround, I shall have my return.

---

Week's been a league and a half better than last week. I rather hate bragging about myself (on rare occasions), but I think I've finally hit "noticed" on my TLs radar. Like there's a difference between being noticed and being "noticed" (note the signatory quote marks, eh?)

Being noticed is "Hey, how is that one thing going?" Being "noticed" is "Hey, I've been told to hand pick someone for 'that one thing' and you be it." - or one of them in this case. Natalee is great, but I'll only be able to strive to be as cool as she is some day, lol.

Naw, I was hand picked by my TL for a couple of things (one of which being the back-up for another queue, which isn't a huge thing for most of our co-workers at Unisys, but it makes me feel good and is doing quite well for a CapOne agent as they're usually pretty exclusive until lately.)

Meaning that I'm also lining myself up for such future tasks.

And that's sort of a double-edged sword that kills me... I'm lining all of this up and then going to try to go to school in the fall. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually getting excited and lining things up to go back north, but I'm also getting something good going here. C'mon man, for the first 2 months that I worked there I thought they were going to can me, lol. Finally about a month or two ago that lifted and I feel good about my potential here, whether or not it's a great living for life, it's a great life for being single.

---

I just had to brag a little bit. I don't often do it with merit and without trying to pull back, so there.

And I totally deserve it after last week. I payed for it with much loss, I think.

---

Oh, and Whitney, that means that you'll get your CDs on Friday pending there aren't any schedule conflicts. No more '403' errors I take it?

And another one posts, and another one posts... Another one posts the... stuff...?

Porter, damn you're a smart cookie. Suppose I'm not as think as you smart I am. What then, huh? The world might end.

I have stolen the internets, and hijacked them to my wicked deeds. Oh glory be to the not so much dialup as wireless internets.

So I nearly almost went Sith today at work. Unlimited power indeed.

Today didn't start great and got "better".

Just triffles that got to me I suppose, but when someone who's known you for a scant ammount of time realizes something so big... Wow...

She might have just saved the world today. Just in time, too...

Oddly ironic.

Don't get the wrong idea here, she's married and pregnant, but it was a breath of fresh air for sure.

The last week's not been rather good to me... Dark times indeed. Times that I realize the scariness of the power behind will, and the thankfullness for having it...

Anywho...

I'm at a meeting. I must away with me.

The Dark Deed is Done.

The ritual is complete.

20 minutes now. It's taken so long before, demanded all of my attention, and now I can do it almost negligently while taking a shower...

And it worked.

Not that I didn't think it would, it's just that... I thought of it in passing and wasn't sure that it would. But it did and I was the hero once again.

...

So I beat my game on Friday night. Ok, ok, Saturday morning. I was up until frickin' early doin' it, but I did it after all. Then later yesterday I decided to play the computer, because once you've beaten that time and again, you can take real people. That's how these things work. If you can't beat a repetitive AI, how can you beat a skilled, artistic human being?

Well I feel like an infant again and it bothers me. I played it a couple of times, yes a little cocky. And it beat me, I can accept that. I expected that. But then I started putting in more controls. "You're only allowed to do this, AND I'll pick the battle ground." Done deal, right? Not really... I picked a battleground where I strategically had an advantage, and was winning... Until I lost. Like holy cow. It did kind of bother me that there weren't any island maps for this game, to help fortify and learn, but I just hadn't found it yet.

So today was my first victory. I found my island, the perfect map to learn on. The problem is that I totally over powered and decimated it. Like, it wasn't even a challenge... The same thing happened with Starcraft. I would play the first map off the top of the stack and it would beat me something fierce, but when I found a map I could learn on, I could branch out finally. Hopefully that will be the case in this instance. I have a pride to uphold after all and nothing but flesh and bone gets the chance to stab at it, heh.

...

I think I'm done. And you guys that I've been pestering now for a month to get something done, yes - you know who you are, can we please get that done now? Like, I'd do it myself for crying out loud, but it either won't work, or won't work out as well...

Like, totally...

Did you hear the thunder?

You better run, you better take cover!

The pounding of drums is distant in the lands, green, black and blue clash in epic duels.

The fires of hell must be stopped, old friends and new allies join forces for the coming tides of darkness.

Shattered spears, broken spirits and maimed bodies will once again line the Earth Mother as she weeps for the loss of her children.

But we must fight! It is the only way to save us all!

Warchief, they come! Warchief, they're here! Warchief, we march to the ends of all.

Hell's scream chills the bone, but we will drive the beasts back to their infernal resting places.

The undead and demonic hordes will be turned, the new lands give us this hope.

Out of these new lands shall I emerge. You've beaten me once, twice, but no more.

When I was new, I was close on your heels. Now I'm sure the tables have turned. Come, I have, justice be done.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a new toy, one of the last things that was on my Christmas list. I've been enjoying it very much today. Not sure how much more of it there is, but it brings back an aweful lot of memories.

As always, there's triple (or more) meaning in the above written... Stuff... I target old, current, and new topics, so have fun trying to unwravel the tangled webs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a lot to do today... I shall enjoy this a while longer before I work... But work I must... I need to catch up and jump ahead all at once. I just need to do it in a way that doesn't clash with those around me. It's a nice little trick of the trade. Work something in just the manner that you catch up on your self-imposed deadlines, get ahead of where you wanted to be, and NOT step on anyone's toes along the way! Brilliant!

I'm not in the mind to be writting much more, so enjoy what you have. I have minions to kill.

First Post.

So here we go, now my MSN works, 'casue it's 2006 for reals this time. :-p

But in all seriousness, welcome to the new year. A myriad of "Happy New Years" and joy-joy feelings around, eh?

Kind of odd to say the least.

People always look forward to what they want to do, what should we do?

Why doesn't anyone reflect on what they've done? What they should have done? Or is the hope of a second chance a better choice of reflection than the burden of a failed past?

And what of our past? Is it that we're given mercy, multiple chances, and salvation because we didn't know any better? Maybe the real salvation is in lessons learned and not in lessons known genetically at brith. I mean really, there's no one currently living that has ever done everything right the first time, right?

But that doesn't seem to abate all the harshities that come with "wrongness". I mean, if you screw up, how many of you are "Pffft... Whatever, what's one more? I'll just catch it next time."...?

Not very many I'd imagine. That sort of response seems to come with a special sort of wisdom. Something I seem to be lacking in a regard lately...

And what about the fact that we only live once? Does that mean that we have to do everything right the first time or all is lost?

In my experience there are very few things that let you get a second stab at it. If you screw up once, you're done. Not very fair if you couldn't have possibly known it was going to turn out that way, right?

Maybe that's why I forever inch forward? Maybe the root of my sepparation is that I need to get everything right the first time (or try). Yet while doing that I fail the missions that require speed. Sure, great, I can siege a city with the patience of the ages. But if something needs me to rush in and "seize the day", that day was last week (or more likely last month or year) in my case.

I rush into things when I should wait, and wait when I should rush in.

If I ever managed to align myself to the tides it wouldn't be so bad. If I could avoid launching my armada on a low tide, they might actually make it out to sea. Go figure...

So here's to the new year. Big ol' 2006. The year of the non-existant Galactic Superwave and a new year to screw things up with, but with a flourish.

I know that sounds bad, but everyone has to realize that you learn more when you screw something up. I just need to find a junkyard somewhere that I can destroy things to learn of their workings. Problem is that even the "junk" has value to mean... I see only diamonds and can't bear to beat down on something already so broken...

So many thoughts... Sheesh... Give it a break man...