And now a word:

Blah.

Define it.

And now a quote: Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out of it alive.

Elbert Hubbard

And now a better word:

Genius.

So I can't help but wonder. And not the good sort either.

Not that I expect to have you at beck and call, but you did arrange this little thing here.

So naturally I wonder.

Where are you?

And more importantly is the disturbing answers that I'm coming up with.

You set this up, were rather excited, too, it seemed.

I'm tired, but that only means that my dark, inner conspirator will be more vocal now.

So then, where are you?

Do I have to start to wonder in everyting...?

Curious.

I can't believe I'm back at square one again.

At least it was sooner than later this time.

I'd much prefer that.

Thank you for at least that much.

Letting me know before my head was all wound up in a new noose.

So there's that, right?

So now what am I supposed to do?

This is getting harder before it gets easier.

Boy would I love to lose my sensibilities like the rest of you.

To just turn them off because it doesn't fit with what I want.

What a wonderful dillusion.

Instead I fight on against all odds, knowing that only a fall of defeat awaits me, especially the higher I manage to climb.

No wonder everyone is lazy, it's not just easier, it's necessary for survival.

Don't ask, don't tell.

Do I look like a Lawfully Good, Half-Orc Fighter to you? WTF?

What DND Character are YOU?

Nerds. All I really want is nerds.

Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.

Race:
Half-Orcs are often brutish and mean creatures, unaccepted by both thier heritages. They are little better than orcs. But some can be clever and successful in the society of adventurers

Primary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.

WTF?

HULK SMASH!!! Evil...?

I'm the epitome of all that is well and good, while simultaneously knowing that violence is quite often the answer...

Yep, makes total DND sense to me.

BTW.

The first part of that last post was from a joke that I was telling on... Thursday?

I couldn't believe I had missed it for so long, but we had a Blood Drive at work, and all I could think of when I had seen their sign "donate blood" was going up to those poor college girls and saying "Where would you like me to put it? I've got a coupla gallons out in the car."

Very morbid day then, too. But it didn't start off with a shooting at least.

"So.... Where can I put this?"

"Put what?"

I just stared at her coldly. "The sign says 'donate blood', so where do you want it...?"

She stared back at me a little morbid curiousity shone from her eyes.

"Sir, that's not how it works. We fill out some forms, and then we take the blood from you, directly."

"Why would you do that? I have it all packaged for you. I was doing some spring cleaning... And... Um... Found this."

I put the couple of jugs up on the table. You could hear her gag and then scream. Probably still screaming, somewhere.

-----------------------------------------------------

A little morbidness.

Happens when you wake up to a silent gun battle that ends with one of your friends dead.

Just a dream right? Why is it then that your dreams always alter your mood?

We weren't doing anything in the dream, but all of the sudden someone (in the persona of on of the TLs at work, ironically) shows up with a buddy and a gun.

We were doing something odd, like sketching the nocturnal wildlife (I remember a sketch pad and it being dark, don't ask, I don't know).

They show up and start demanding that we give something up, with a gun.

Like hell.

Guess I'm just a little too stubborn for that, even in my sleep.

So we played along, then I kidnapped his girl, hiding behind her so that I could get to him.

Maneuvered us close enough for me to wrest the gun from him and threw it.

Idiot.

Who gets a gun and then throws it in that sort of situation? Even as I watched myself internally, I shook my head at my idiocy.

So the persona of my friend ran to get the gun, but she wasn't quick enough for him.

They started wrestling for it and I came over. It should have been a done deal, but the guy managed to maneuver the gun enough that *blamo* she's gone. I'll spare the morbid details that were present.

In turn I managed to yank the gun away from him... Yeah... Won't have to worry about that anymore.

Two people died in that dream. I seriously think that's the first dream where that has happened.

I don't like that feeling in the least...

I'll make it, but what a beautiful day to start off a long Saturday with.

What a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

---------------------------------------------------------

Porter, I have an answer to your question last night, so when you get online and read this, ask me what it is that I'm talking about :-p.

So now I'm a bear.

More than a year later, still a wise lone fart, but a bigger, ground-pounding one:


Bear Spirit Calls To You ~
Bear is spirit keeper of the West, the place of

darkness, maturity and good harvest. Bears

are active during the night and day. This

symbolizes its connection with solar energy,

that of strength and power, and lunar energy,

that of intuition. The bear holds the

teachings of introspection. When it shows up

in your life pay attention to how you think,

act and interact.

Bear's Wisdom Includes:


*Introspection

*Healing

*Solitude

*Change

*Communication with Spirit

*Birth and rebirth

*Transformation

*Astral travel

*Creature of dreams, shamans and mystics

*Visionaries

*Defense and revenge

*Wisdom





Animal Spirit Guides ~ Which One Calls To You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Breaking News!! 16 Dead in Southern Utah Gun Balttle.

http://www.republicworldnews.com/news/isa/16-die-in-deseret/

It's a must read. I can't believe this sort of thing has happened. It's almost too real to be true.

Because I feel lame.

J : Everyone loves you
U : You are really chill
S : People think you are so sexy
T : You are one of the best in bed
I : Love is something you deeply believe in
N : your sex is unforgetable

Um... Yeah... So about that phone number..?


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A : YOUR A HOTTIE
B : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
C : you're wild and crazy
D : You have trouble trusting people
E : You are popular with all types of people
F : People totally adore you
G : You are very friendly and undestanding
H : You have very good personality and looks
I : Love is something you deeply believe in
J : Everyone loves you
K : You like to try new things
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
M : You are beautiful, and sexy
N : your sex is unforgetable
O : You love foreplay
P : You are very friendly and understanding
Q : You are a hypocrite
R : You are beautiful, and sexy
S : People think you are so sexy
T : You are one of the best in bed
U : You are really chill
V : You are not judgemental
W : You are very broad minded
X : You never let people tell you what to do
Y : you make every experience great
Z : You're Super coolL :


That's what you guys get for having short names :-p.

Today's post brought to you by the color red.

And you should have read this.

While I'm not espousing one or the other sets of rioters in the least, isn't it a bit ironic that the counter group is, or has to be, labeled as Christian? How long ago were the crusades again...?

I find a lot still inherent here with this debate, maybe just something to notice in passing, but this obviously goes deeper than just a resentment of American and Western culture in general.

To have a cartoon in a country scarcely on the map to have such far reaching implications. Give me a break. This story has never been written because it would never sell, but we are reading its truth now.

Why is it that this even can cross the mind of an individual...?

Where does it makes sense that you can riot and burn buildings and people alike for something that was in a newspaper article in a foreign land?

I hate to be general, I hate to be bold, but I still believe that the Muslim religion needs to go. At least in its popular incarnation.

I don't believe the that the Qu'ran actually preaches that you run amok killing everyone who doesn't agree with you, but you can hardly say that my interpretation is the popular and common one. The current leadership needs to make an ideological change, or be changed.

There can't be any group on earth left alone that tolerates any level of violence for something like this. What century are we in? How "civilized" are we as a race if we let our brothers run amok like this, and if we do it ourselves? How do you even get into that mentality in the first place...?

I hate to make it sound like I want to step up and control their thoughts and everything, but there doesn't seem like there's much reason to be found in a group of peoples that will burn you to death for some other country's political cartoonist.

Not a whole lot of love and understanding to be found there, I think.

But it needs to be stopped, ended and otherwise done away with. I don't see how any of this can persist, and I personally feel that it will escalate long before it is over.

Why A_Shadow doesn't give relationship advice:

Advice for men:


1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.



2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.



3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.



4. It’s important to have a woman who is great in bed and who likes to be with you.



5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.



-----------------------------------

And no, it's not mine, but you probably laughed anyways.

Daylight charge accross the minefiled? Anyone?

I always knew you would prove useful.

I don't mean to use people, if that's how it turns out, but I will put pieces of the board in places for optimum effect.

I suppose I didn't put you there so much as realize your potential in this regard.

It is true that I can see these things better than cause or avoid them.

So here's the thing, I knew that it was likely to come to pass, but what am I to do?

I had long thought that I would have to interfere, but now that I might not?

Nevermind.

Who am I kidding? There's far too much bad blood. And I'd never be doing it for the sake of doing it. Always a more altruistic, damning motive.

And if I don't want it? What if I'd rather be selfish? Look out for my own good than for yours...?

One life, that's all I need. All I could hope to save, all I could hope for.

Never thought of how I should choose. Guess I can't be picky in these matters. Asides from that, to be so petty. To actually choose who it would be? Madness.

It's impossible. Never going to happen. And coming right at me.

Damn it.

When was it that it was decided that I can't tell where the hell I am going and where everything is coming from?

If you only knew. If I could actually level myself I would be unstoppable.

And here we are, I'm actually on the verge of this and life throws another curve.

Bastards.

Just let me be for a minute and I will have what I want.

-----------------------------------------

Is this where I remind everyone that you only take from this what you brought with you?

If you don't understand, it wasn't meant for you.

If you do understand. Be right before you act.

I'd hate to have you go off half cocked on this like I am or something. That would be terrible. TERRIbLE.

Insanity

I know that's like the second topic with "insane" in the title, but how the hell else would you describe this?

Are we insane yet?

For the last time! YES!!

So I spent 6 hours and 20 minutes trying to get home last night. And when I say "I", I mean Carl and I.

We seriously left at 3:20 PM and didn't get home until 9:40 PM.

Thus I took the day off, sue me, I'll win.

It was a rather irritating end to a day that would have been good.

Beyond coincidence we decided to stop off for dinner at about 7 at this whole in the wall Chinese place. We walk in the door and there are a few of our friends (Loren, his wife and I know the other guy, but can't think of his name, lol...)

So we had 45 mins of good company whyile we recovered our sanity.

We knew we had to stop because the car was being silly, and our jokes were more and more serious...

So we decide at about 7:45-ish - 8PM that we're going to go home, right? Wrong.

Silly car decided it didn't like running anymore and we were now stuck in Centerville.

The battery died for no reason and we had to wait for Erica to come pick us up.

Apparently that was the button we had to push to get your parents to come pick you up.

So we got it charged and started after fighting with it for about 10 mins, then we started home.

We spun out on the icy road at about 15 MPH. Well, fish tailed, but a good one.

Then we made it home. And apparently Carl made it home unscathed as he called me a bit later...

I told you it was an adventure! But I definately don't like Bountiful as much as I used to :-p.

So on top of all that, my TL sent of his letter of Bragamendation to our supervisors yesterday. And I found out that I have no pulse.

Porter, you might have thought I was referring to something else, but I took my blood pressure about 9-ish in the morning yesterday, and I SERIOUSLY have no pulse. 4 or 5 other guys saw it. I had blood pressure (stage one hypertention - whoo...) but no pulse.

Ha!

Other then that, it was a rather okie day, but we definately should have turned around and gone to that hockey game.

Also, if I'm unavailable today, that's because I'm at the Mormon's Citadel in Provo, AKA BYU.

We're going to be broadcasting from there, so you should get a chance to listen if you want to/are able to.

And so as a finally, I got an electronic copy of the letter of Bragamendation, too cool to just be recomendation, just a little too much awesome:



To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Mike Morrill and I am a Team Lead (SSR1) for the Capital One account at the Managed Service Centre in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am writing this letter on behalf of a member of my team, . Justin is an SSR3 on the Capital One account that I believe has earned consideration for a change of status to SSR2.

Justin has volunteered and taken technical calls for the Capital One account since his arrival to the account on August 22, 2005. He has shown proficiency for taking these calls based on his CSAT scores which through December were standing at an average of 4.34.

Justin carries one of the lowest average handle times for a technical agent at 11.24 minutes per call which is in the top 8% of the 985 agents in the combined Managed Service Centres. His handle times are lower that most agents that are exclusive reset agents.

Justin possesses a 98.9% first call fix rate on his tickets. He regularly and tenaciously checks any referred or pending tickets in search or resolution from resolvers when it becomes necessary to escalate tickets beyond our capabilities here at the service desk.

Justin has achieved an overall “Met” or “Exceeded” on 17 of 21 calls that were coached during this time. His professional demeanor and determination to get the customer’s issue resolved plus his technical expertise carries him far on his calls.

On a daily basis, I can count on Justin to pick up calls well before his 2 minute break time has run down, especially when we do not have agents available to pick up calls.

Justin has shown his abilities as a technical agent many times. He is adept at troubleshooting browser, MS application issues and applications that are specific to Capital One. He has shown flexibility in dealing with applications that he, or we may not be familiar with. He is currently cross-training on the Marriott account in order to be a stronger team player and increase his versatility for Unisys.

Justin has shown time and again that he is a valuable member of the Capital One account, and to Unisys in his ability to bring quality, technical ability, and flexibility when we have needed it. My hope is that we can show him just reward for his efforts.

Thank You for Your Consideration,

Michael S Morrill

Team Lead-MSC SLC

Unisys

An explanation:

He's outlining my qualifications so that I could, potentially, be promoted.

It's the first letter of its kind to my knowledge and very noteworthy in my opinion.

Have fun!

Single's Awareness - For those that aren't.

Now, don't get me wrong, I more or less really don't care when this day comes and goes, it's a holiday little worth noticing one way or another (it doesn't espouse any wholesome values that are worth mentioning. I know, love, etc, but this is more a day for carnal love and why should that be different than any other day? It's not like Cupid was born today, lol).

Anyways, so I've found myself a rather staunch cynic today. My fleeting doubts have come back, but more calculating than malice.

So I have given birth to the Cynics Dictionary. Subtitle pending.

While it might have been done, I find it a humorous, yet dark, way of looking at the world.

Excellent.

Example:

Tact (A.K.A. Diplomacy) - Telling someone to go to Hell in such a manner that not only do they not know what you're talking about, but they look forward to the trip.

Ok, so that one's not mine, but the one that kicked it off today:

Trust:

Sharing potentially damning information with someone that hasn't and won't use it against you. (Yet).

And there we have it, kicking it off with the T's.

If you have suggestions, I'll listen, or something, but I think it's a great, funny AND constructive way to start things off.

So have at you, evil do-er.

Poor, poor Mephisto...

Anyways, I have a Demon dog, courtesy of Valentines Day.

Like, really, how can you give me a black and red dog on ANY DAY and not expect it to immediately be one of the hounds of hell?

Thanks mom!

All is going exactly as I have forseen.

I always knew you were the only hope for it.

Ironic, isn't it? Of course it is.

I forsaw it, but not in this manner.

To think that we would be joined in such as silly manner.

You will help me to save her. Could the laws and truths of our time be warped any further?

A self named shade assisting a creature of light in a crusade against evil.

But not to its destruction, to its redemption.

Such an odd thing.

It will cascade to another and simultaneously grant the life long dream of a hardened warrior.

Does it make it worth it?

Is it actually possible?

Many things are seen, but many of them will never come to pass.

That future is nearly gone now, but it is on a boomberang headed back into our lives.

And I threw it so hard...

How can it come back to me now?

Don't tell me what I already know.

I'm denying that I'm in denial.

I have been for years, and am scared the most by the extent of its infultration.

I've always been the most upfront. I will always win because my cards are face up.

And here I am, defeating myself as I have always feared and forseen.

The hero is always the tool of his own destruction. Isn't that true of us all.

Irony that you should die of your own sins, falling on your own blade.

So here I am. I forsaw it because I created it.

I created the situation, I set the timer, laid the line, and planted the TNT.

I didn't start the fire, but we sure as hell felt the blast.

I threw the boomberang, new where it would go, and wished to never see it again.

So does that make me a seer or a fool?

Perhaps the most billiant fool that was never able to see what was plain as day.

My will is yours, your will be done. It is irreffutable.

Present the target and it will be struck.

Merely give me the prowess to take the opportunity that you giveth.

Amen.

Ever have one of those days that you have one of the most brilliantly evil plans ever?

Me either, but I totally had one today. I haven't stopped grinning since after work.

Brilliant!

When all the things are strewn about.

All that we are left is hopeless doubt.

And to sum it all up, I post a song that's always a good one to listen if you never have. It's really a song more about the words than the melody (though not a song without either). It's been a long time since my message was as simple as this:

"Are You Happy Now?"

Now, don’t just walk away
Pretending everything’s ok
And you don’t care about me
And I know there’s just no use
When all your lies become your truths and I don’t care... yeah, yeah, yeah

Could you look me in the eye
And tell me that you’re happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now?

You took all there was to take,
And left me with an empty plate
And you don’t care about it, yeah.
And I am givin' up this game
I’m leaving you with all the blame cause I don’t care, yeah, yeah yeah,

Could you look me in the eye?
And tell me that you’re happy now, oohh oohhh
Would you tell it to my face or have I been erased,
Are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
Are you happy now?
Are you happy now? yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you really have everything you want?
You can't ever give somethin' you ain't got
You can’t run away from yourself

Could you look me in the eye?
and tell me that you're happy now, yeah, yeah
come on, tell it to my face or have i been replaced,
are you happy now? Ohhh, ohhhh
are you happy now?

Would you look me in the eye?
Could you look me in the eye?
I’ve had all that I can take
I'm not about to break
Cause I’m happy now, ohhh, ohhh
Are you happy now?

NSFDU

Not Safe For Dial Up:

I'm Still Seeing Breen

I know it's not fair, but this is the coolest damned video you've ever seen. And if you've just happened to see one better, please share.

This is one that I've had for a while (I actually have two versions as they've tweaked it a bit), but I couldn't remember where I found it.

Well, at the behest of my brother, I found it and helped him link the code so he could view it.

Realizing that wouldn't be fair to people like poor ol' Whitney, I had to provide a link for you guys to see it and link their page.

It's a video using imagery from Half Life 2, but using a song from Breaking Benjamin.

Best damned thing you've ever seen on the net.

Their link:

Machinima Blog

Alert my Star Destroyer!

A battle of epic proportions against epic foes.

A victory despite all odds.

The darkest times of our lives.

Why can't anything just be simple for a little while?

The constant push and pull, attack and reposte.

I can't trust my friends, only trust them to fail and trust my enemies to destroy me.

Yet there is hope, is there?

Is it assured?

Even the hardiest falter, the most wise are doubtful, and the hopeful feel the creeping doom.

And where are you?

At home, nothing to do, don't even feel the world shake under your feet.

Empires are built and crumble around you.

The world has been destroyed and you didn't feel it.

You're at home watching the game.

I watch another game.

An overly glorified epic version of Chess.

The very fates themselves move the pieces to one end and then the other.

Betrayals and epic winnings against the armies of darkness.

And here we talk of civilities, life and trust.

Why are we trying to define these things in academic wonder?

They are proven time and again in the heat of battle.

Your lies and actions will be put to the test by using them, not analyzing them.

I needn't sit back and measure your worth, you'll prove your weight in time.

I can't, won't trust you and yet I will.

I will burn from your scorn, I will die again.

And for what?

What have I ever brought against you to make you cause so much pain?

I have never cursed your house, or brought enduring hardship.

I mind my own, I care for my own, and you will curse and burn me for my mannorisms.

I offer a hand of friendship and you only take it so that you can better poison me.

I am doomed by my good heart, constantly to be taken advantage of for no reason.

Doomed to enemies that I've never made, but have them all the same.

You are no different, and I weep for it.

I weep for you, I weep for me.

I will always pray that it turns out differently, I will play the course as it must be.

In the end, you will be the same as she is and I never earned any of it.

Better to give than recieve?

I can attest to it assuredly.

Words won't turn your course, not even your faith or my actions could convince you.

It's a price I will always pay for being here.

The scorn of friends I haven't made, and enemies that I deserve not.

This is why I pass.

This is how it will always pass.

If I don't know the why, I can't change it.

There is no why, it is doomed to continue forever.

Alert my Star Destroyer!

Make ready the line!

Shields up!

Weapons to full!

There will be a day that the strength of men fails, but it will NOT be this day!

Why I'm So Tired!

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job, earwax build-up, poor blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked.


Here's why: The population of this country is 273 million.

140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.



There are 85 million in school. Which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden. Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 14.8 million people who work for state and city governments. And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals. Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.


And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes. NICE. REAL NICE!



---------------------------------------------------------

If you didn't catch it, it's a chain letter sort of thing, those of you from work, my apologies, but it was too damn funny not to share with the other three that read this :-P