"They came... from... behind!"

I suppose now I should be able to rest easy.

Not often these days that I get a confirmation long overdue.

The only burden I have left is to swallow this and move on.

I don't want to lash out, I don't want to get even or make guilty or do the human thing. The normal thing.

Though every muscle in my body is tensed as though to strike again, I am more willing to let the remorse take over as it did last time I was in a similar situation. It is pretty much ending the same as always.

Maybe it was fate, maybe it's a pattern of my life.

The only comment that I feel I need to make is that all I have ever really wanted was a strong friendship that you afforded everyone but me. A strong friendship that is the same as I offer to everyone else.

Don't know why that was so hard. Guess I never will.

It's the same hope I still hold. To have your friendship, but now even more so it is in your hands. Never doubt that it was anywhere else. If there ever was a doubt, that is nothing I will take credit for.

I'm even less apt to seek anything else out then ever now. Not going to cut myself off, but certainly not going to present myself as a target.

Remorse indeed.

The thoughts of picking up and moving off again.

I can go on an bemoan many things, but there is no point, no cause and no reason.

I shall carry on as I have before.

Such an irony of my life.

I regret that things have turned out the way that they have, but more so regret the path that they started down in the first place.

It doesn't matter. I don't believe that you will come here anymore or even choose to associate with me anymore.

That is also fine.

For those of you that don't deserve to read this or be affected by it, realize that this is my sanctum first. And it's 12:30 AM.

I appologize for any negative feelings derrived from these words. I am seeking to get mine out. If you feel you need a cause for negativity such as I can, I will be happy to accomodate.

I'm leaving now before I break my bonds.

"Hey! Don't you know who I am??"

Behold, as the swarms diminished and returned to their homes, a new power arose.

Out of chaos, a dark armor was forged.

The flames of entropy yielded this great chaos. This juggernaught.

I am officially posting for the first time from my new desktop computer.

Additionally, it is using Fedora 5. If it weren't already early, I would continue, but suffice it to say that thus far I am pleased, enough, but there are some obvious things that need be resolved.

Tomorrow comes the fine tuning.

Today is the raw power.

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

Tomorrow the insanity begins. I expect my collossal shipment to come in with about 75% of my compy components.

Welcome to your knew home.

Right now, I'm in the middle of downloading Fedora, which is nuts, because as much as I don't like windows, I never actually considered this step.

Lucky for me they have a 64 bit OS function, but I'm nervous as hell because I don't know what it's like. At all.

So we'll see. I might have to download the damn thing twice because I'm not sure the new beast can boot from DVD. If not, we'll figure something out. Who knows.

As an extra bonus, it's for a potential knew job. And I'll be learning something new.




Additionally, I find that my will is pathetically weak as of late.

I bought a MMORPG game yesterday at the swap meet. I guarantee it's going to a worthy cause, so it helps my conscience.

I bought Guild Wars for all of you WOW zealots. I hear there's some strife there.

It would be better if I had someone to play with, but I want to learn the game and I'm not really asking anyone to sign up.

I know that would make it all the more addicting.

lol.

Anyways.

This will be a very experimental week indeed.

By this next weekend I will have my new computer built, the other parts will be shipping this week.

On top of that, I am running a Star Wars Miniatures Tournament for those interested.

Ebon Root at Noon on this upcoming Saturday.

It's $5 entry fee to help cover prizes and it's 150pt armies.

Armies will have to be of the same faction, no crossing factions like rebel/new republic, etc.




Anyways, I should be heading for bed a while ago. I don't have much luck with these over night installs and the like, so I pray it goes off without a hitch... Stupid 3GB OS.

"Did the primary buffer panel just fall off my gorram ship??"

"Well... It did seem to resemble the..."

Yeah, I lost my mind this week.

"I have gone out to find myself. If I should return before I get back please keep me here until I arrive. Thank you."

I'm about to leave for a midnight movie on a work night. For crazy.

I'll be up until 2-3 for easy tonight.

Another all-nighter before work. Luckily it's a Friday tomorrow.

I've had second thoughts, but where's the fun in that?



So that, amongst other things.

I went nuts last night.

Like crazy nuts.

I'm still pretending it didn't happen and that it was a super cool dream.

But when stuff shows up, I'll know it's real.

It has the potential to get me into trouble, so needless to say I'll be behaving for the next couple of months or so, lol.

But also needless to say, I have sharpened the cutting edge in cool.

"Sounds like a freak of nature."

"Yeah, can't wait to meet 'im."




So yeah...

Hopefully that will be the final shot in that glut.

I mean, what the hell do I eat when everything has been devoured?

Time to focus that energy in a productive and outwards glance.



In news of being more responsible. I'm going to seriously look at changing career paths to a more IT based industry. It's just smart economics. I soak up the information and have an obvious love for it, so I might as well do it for a little while.

With the addition of being able to edit and play with three websites, in theory, I'm looking at getting some webdesign under my belt again.

I have a lot to catch up on.

I got the recent version of DW and I'm totally back to square one. I know the premise, I recognize the app. But using it? I might as well just code HTML from hand, and I'm rusty on that much!

But yeah, gear myself towards a network admin position, sys admin stuff. Do webdesign as a good secondary/subsidary and I'll be in demand as long as the internet is as Al Gore made it in his image!

Sounds good to me, that and I can prolly end up going to school in Salt Lake, I'm thinking USU still, they have a satellite campus down there. That and I could live in WVC where Utopia reigns supreme.

W00t.

TTYL peeps.

"There'll be no one to stop us this time!"

UNLIMITED POWER!

Today the shell for my new computer came in.

Dark armor for the most lethal personal computer on the planet.

I did the math today, by the time I get it all finished, by the time I add a nice flatpanel LCD screen to it, it'll be about the same cost as my laptop.

For pity.

Ok, it might be just a bit more then the laptop, but sooooo! much more cost efficient that it's sick.

Pentium D 930 Dual Core Processor (think two Pentium 4 3.0GHz processors taped together, essentially two of my laptop's processor in one tight package as a CPU).

Up to 4 GB of RAM, double of what my laptop has.

It will have 1 TB of HD space. Why? Because I found a site doing a clearance of 500GB hard drives for $200. Two of them and bam, I have 1.46 TB of data.

Two CD/DVD burner combo drives.

A Video card (that costs about a fourth of the total price in all seriousness) with 1GB of RAM!!! 256 MB is rather standard now. 512 MB is hard to come by and expensive, 1GB is seriously the cutting edge. The motherboard could technically support two of these, but I think they would burn out even a 550 Watt power pack.

Integrated into the motherboard is a gigabit NIC card (think ethernet, but 10x as fast).

And for kicks and coolness: a front panel that is a built in thermometer/remote ignition system that will be coming tomorrow or the next day.

Most of the guts, I don't yet own, but it's been a fight today to keep from plopping down some money on my big meanie to pick it up.

The RAM, the HDs, CD/DVD drives and Video card alone are about $1400.

Talk about bragging rights.

I guess that coupled with about $90 for Windows XP 64, $40 or so for the thermometer, $270 for the motherboard/CPU and $130 for the case. We've just put in about as much as my laptop. The thing that will push it over the edge will be the monitor. But I have to do a good monitor to give it justice.

Unlike with my laptop, I have this bad boy's name picked out already.

I look forward to having him crush you :-).

"Pilots to their ships! Prepare to make the jump to lightspeed!"

Slow down, just a little bit there, skipper.

I mean, really now.

You don't want to lose your grip.

Well, ok, maybe it's too late for that. But don't fly off the handle, for sure.

So throttle back for one second.

The short path is the path to the darkside.




I've spent just a bit too money this week, not too much of a problem, but I hate feeling like I'm scrapping bottom like this. I feel fine, and can't complain, I found a steal on eBay which was still expensive, but I got it at about $100 off and it was what I was looking for. Perfect, in other words.

Now I have almost all of the meat and bones, I just need to get some more of the necessary components. Over the next month I will have a high-powered, ass-kicking machine.

For sure.

It's kinda sick, really. But it's fine.

As long as I don't obliterate my savings again, I can seriously start looking for a car this next check as well.

Yes, yes, I still need to get my license, but that won't really be as hard as everyone tries to let on.



We'll see what I get to do with schooling and the like.

I figure I could still potentially do it, but I realized the folly of trying to live off of loans for the next two years. Obviously, I'm going to raise around $30,000 in debt. Not a problem for me. What is a problem is the fact that it's a strategic folly of the worst kind:

Leaving my fate up to chance.

I could survive with minimal expenditures if I played my cards right. I would be the stereotypical college bachelor for two years. No problem.

But the thing that killed me was that I would be counting on the job market to pick me up and it being enough to pay off that debt in a year or two.

Not too bright, actually.

But I know that I'm not the right kind of dedicated to be able to work and school at the same time unless I have a perfect job.

The problem with Carl's Jr. was that it had no schedule, only paid enough to scrape by most of the time, and kept me up excruciatingly late.

If I could find something that could sustain me and pay for school, the rest is bearable, but I need to have time to sleep and study.

There be my problem.

I guess I would just need to do regular late morning classes and then I could work with pretty much anyone. I just don't want to work for Convergys if they're still being jerk-offs. But maybe I can apply for a TL position or some sort of techy thing for their IT. Depends on how they work it.

So yeah... I have half a mind to still sit out an extra semester or two.

But maybe I'll just switch careers. If I switched to an IT based carreer I would love it. To me, it's all play. I could go to work and play and come home and play. Like I'm doing now.

Really neat-o.

I think I'll have to seriously look at that.

I could at least stay in this valley or do it online that way.

Sounds good enough to seriously look at, anyways.

Forget it.

Breaking Benjamin - Forget It Lyrics
It's a crime you let it happen to me
Nevermind, I'll let it happen to you
Out of mind, forget it there's nothing to lose
but my mind and all the things I wanted

Evertime I get it I throw it away
It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay
by the time I lose it I'm not afraid
of looking at you truly fake it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're the part of me that I don't wanna see

Forget it

There's a place I see you follow me
Just a taste of all that might come to be
I'm alone but only breath you can breath
to question every answer coming

Just send away
Please me let me stay
Coming your way

Forget it

It's a crime you let it happen to me
Out of mind, I love it, easy to please
Nevermind, forget it, just memories
On A page inside a spiral notebook

Just send away
Please let me stay
Coming your way
I can live forever here

Forget it

How can I believe when this cloud hangs over me
You're a part of me that I don't wanna see

I can live forever here


------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It creeps me out sometimes.

I don't understand what you are so afraid of.

Assume, for a moment, you are alone and affraid. You find yourself, running, running away from your life and the people that you should love. Imagine yourself, that you have found a door, a doorway to another plane.

Imagine yourself entering, the "WTF?" Zone.

My own life, my own choices. Am I the only one that lives that way anymore? Am I the only one that will stick as true to myself as possible no matter who thinks or says what? I can immagine an intense flaw and weakness there, but I have already detected that and compensated.

But what about you?

You fear the footsteps that near. They come and pass and are never a threat.

You look over your shoulder constantly.

You walk on eggshells.

You are well and truly affraid.

In the end, what do you lose?

Are you truly losing anything?

I can understand the sense of worth there, but in all reality, if you were to 'lose' is it something that can't be left behind in the first place.

Vermillion, I don't mean to have this targetted at you, I know that we spoke of it, but I felt it was important to speak to this group as a whole on the matter. Don't take this personally, it's an experimentation of thought and a message to another.

So you 'lose' and who really 'lost'?

It's like all the cliches that you will always hear when you are dumped: "Don't worry about it, it's their loss and not yours." and it truly is. Make no mistake that you will lose so much less by leaving an unloving relationship, one that is founded by small minds that refuse to understand you - than staying with it, subjugated by the unknowing and unreasonable minorities that hate their own fear and ignorance.

Harsh? Yes. So is subjugating the ones you "love" to false standards and pretences and a life of living in the shadows for fear of offending you.

Often times I think these thoughts and speak these words and it hits me:

I am sowing dissent in the masses of people's lives.

Those of you that may have not been digging deeply, or that have found my natural fun loving sarcasm and mischief causing fun a little too serious may think "No big deal." But if there is one thing that I try to pride myself on doing, that would be lack of direct intervention. I don't overtly seed thoughts of rebellion and dissent.

HOWEVER!

Make no mistake that I value your soul, intelligence, and personal freedoms above just about everything else. I believe that if it is a choice between subjugation (by loved one or enemy) or living as your own person free of the cares and judgements of others, then there is only one true answer.

I will continuously support that you make your own decisions. If you so decide that you wish to be subjugated, that is fine, but make no mistake in thinking that I won't try to convince of your folly.

There is no one on Earth that is better equipped to know what you know, think what you think, and choose for your life than you. Not me, not your mother, not your bishop and not the Pope no matter who's God they speak for. I don't believe any of them have that authority. If you choose to, I don't necessarily find any contention with that, but I suggest your choice be made with analysis of the specific situations.

Believe me, this goes far deeper than anything that I can find in this state. While I might think that the local theological groups are a bit misguided, I don't sense any open malevolence other than when their meddlesome interferes and seems like coercion.

When I speak of these things, why I am leery of religious leaders and a 'senseless' faith that "Whatever my 'insert religious title here' says is truth." should be plain. We have all seen, heard about, or read about the reprocussions of this 'power' when placed in the wrong hands. You have to analyze everything. The powers of good are not by far the only ones with emissaries of persuation on this plane.

Anyways, now that the lateness of the hour is showing and I keep defending against imaginary attacks, goodnight.

One last thing: I have proliferated a great evil this day.

I downloaded IE 7 Beta with the tabbed browsing and everything. It's sorta nice so far, but I think FF is better in some ways still. Though anyone who has used both would be an idiot if he didn't think that Microshaft all but blatantly copied the format from FF.

There are handy aside features, but in all honesty, other than the general look, the layout and naming conventions are the same. It also incorporates features of Opera, but to a lesser extent. Anyways, adieu.

Good Grief.

It's been since Sunday that I've updated? Total slacker...

Sheesh. You disgust me.

Anyways, Tuesday night I ended up getting the game working, and staying up until 2AM playing it for fear that it might quit again if I quit.

That was fun and has thrown my whole week...

Tonight was the show, and a good one at that. I got the FTP information so that I can update the iscifi.tv page if I want now, which is awesome. I felt very geeky using FTP for the first time to successfully update a web page, and me and my limited HTML skills are teh uber 1337.

Makes me want to do my own site for sure, again.

And I'm kicking around the idea of that nifty neat Terabyte NAS.

And I already have a name for it.

Boss NAS.

Yes, I totally did.

On top of that, I'm realizing the suck of not reading all of the print on an eBay auction.

I bought a small, nice, projector (1,600 lumens ho-ho-ho! More power!), but from a guy in Beijing. And thus, he doesn't due paypal, he does Wire Transfer or Western union. It's going to cost me fricken $34 to pay the guy, unless I go through my CU if they support it... Sheesh. But assuming it comes as it was advertised, I'm getting it for about 1/10th the cost, even with about $100 in post auction charges almost.

So that and the NAS are probably going to get me into trouble this check. I'm seriously thinking about it... Seriously...

Other then that, there's a whole bunch of things going on with once friends.

It's a bother when you run into something that causes such strife.

It's worse when they bring it on themselves because they're complete idiots.

I'm sorry, it might seem harsh, but what posesses you to A) make shit up about your friends, B) start spouting off about something you stated you didn't care about and haven't been involved with in any way shape or form for 6 months or more, and C) attack a man and his family.

You don't do that shit. You don't even do that with people that you hate. It's always between you and them. Forget the fact that you attacked his honor and trustworthiness in a fashion that only befits the mentally inept, but you publicly attacked him and his family and how he raises his children and deals with them.

I'm sorry, but of all the people of the world to be making accusations on that level, you are not even near the top of the bottom. One of my favorite quotes comes to mind "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." And assuming that you're reading this, then you are likely forever gone with whatever friendship we once had.

Few people understand what my loyalty translates to.

I am still open to your friendship, but make no mistake, I am not a friend that watches someone drive off a cliff for the hell of it. I'm the one that is there to help you, defend you and protect you. Even from yourself if need be.

What you did is so beyond stupid, so beyond uncalled for and so beyond reason that it baffles my mind. I can't help but wonder what was going through your head when all of this happened.

I do hope that somehow in that twisted mind, you feel it was somehow worth it.

Worth it to know that you alienated the last of your friends, allies and defenders.

And also, as many of you have seem to somehow have forgotten it. I am the Co-chair AND Treasurer for the con. There is only one person that could POSSIBLY know the financial situation of the con better than I, and you made the mistake of attacking him outright.

If you weren't so stuck upstairs, you might have concieved that you could have come to our PUBLIC meetings to listen to the status of the coffers of the con. For wanting to "see the books" you have to be a little bit more understanding and intelligent than to call him out on your Blog.

For those of you that just got a slap in the face of Shadowy frustration, I appologise. For those of you that don't like to read things like this, don't like to see this part of me and so forth, I appologise.

Better here than at work or in person.

I am maintaining my neutrality until it suits me to discontinue it. I am expressing opinions that are SOLELY my own and have not been openly shared with more than one or two other people. And they had long ago made up their own minds.

If you feel any of this is off-base, wrong, or disagree with it in any way shape or form, I challenge you to do something - INTELLIGENT - about it.

I am venting here so that I can do so on a public, yet wholly my own, domain.

You come here to pick a fight, and that's your business, I promise that you won't win it.

Furthermore.

I can't stop geeking out, Boss NAS. Ha!


One more thing:

"TROGDOR!!! Trogdor was a man... er... maybe he was a dragon-man... or... maybe he was just a dragon, but he was TROGDOR!!!"

Thank you ladies and gents, laugh, be hapy, and realise that all I have to do is hit ctrl+alt+T and TROGDOR!!! attacks.

G'night.

'Bout that time again, eh chaps?

I figure I better post while I'm not completely lost in frustration.

Yesterday was about as good a day as I had hoped and imagined.

Friday was good, but almost cascaded something evil into my good day.

The car died Friday night, the night before the big tourney, before we needed it for something that I have been hoping and planning for the last two months.

Miraculously, it was revived late that night.


Saturday morning went to plan.

We got up, relatively on time. Left close to when I planned to and made it there without issues.

The tournament, however, was having its own issues.

We got there and they were only allowing 12 people to play, I think we were something like #7 and #8.

It turns out that their shipment of figures didn't come in, but the intended prizes had.

So we ended up playing with the prizes we shoul have been winning, after waiting something like 40 minutes past when the judge should have started the tourney. The big kicker was, because of the limited number of players, and how late he arrived, his family would not have been able to play. So at that point, he took off.

Lucky for him he left someone in his stead, but it still might make things difficult in terms of getting a hold of a judge to get in touch with Wizards.

BUT! We started the tourney, and we got our two booster packs with which to create our armies.

I managed to drop the most feared and covetted fig in the tournement: Darth Maul, Champion of the Sith. Why so covetted and feared? Quadruple attack and 150HP. I mean, wowsa. Triple attack is huge, normally you only get one attack, but there are only two figures in all of the 4 sets now that have Quadruple attack.

I didn't end up winning, though. I had a good team, my second most powerful unit was Jacen Solo, he had something I kept calling a force bomb, essentially, he has one force power, that he can't use until someone with a force rating is defeated (Maul, in my case). Once that is done, he can use all of his force points to unleash it and bam, everyone within 6 squares takes 60 points of damage, save for half.

I only got to use that once, but that's the only time I needed to, as well.

The thing that kept me from winning, the thing that put me down at 4th place was that I was paired with my Dad for my first match. He ended up winning, because I ran Jacen in before Maul and then let Maul go three on one with two Jedi and a Gundark. That was hurty...

But he ended up taking 6th. So had I beaten him, I likely could have taken the tourney from them. The guy who won undefeated, wouldn't play against my force afterwords. He was afraid of Maul.

After that, I got to play HL2: EP1, but only for a couple of hours before Whitney came over to watch Episodes One and Two for Star Wars. It was good, but now HL2: EP1 won't cooperate. It's rather bothersome, hence my irritation.

I've only waited 6 months for this game.

Anyways.

Good stuff. I just need to get my game working.

Intangibility.

So what is it for you?

What, in this world, would drop you like a rock? What would make you fall forever? What would take your soul and never give it back?

An odd thing to be sure.

People would give up everything they own, their faith, their security, to be loved at times.

You would turn against everything you were taught and brought up on.

So what about it then? Though I think I have an answer.

If you were told, by your faith, by your prophet, that someone you intended to love forever, was off limits?

What then?

You are to marry this person, or at least want to.

How important are each of your values?

Do you value a potentially foolish and fleeting love of a mortal over the salvation of your eternal soul?

Why would you do that?

I believe I know which one I would pick, but that's the emotional response.

To truly sort it out and take the answer that makes the most sense, that adds up, would not be the normal reaction. Would not be your answer.

How much "shut up and do what I told you" are you willing to take? How much will you let something trample on your soul before you break?

Can something be from God and be against your very soul?

Assuming that love is a soul-binding experience, is there a such thing as a false love? And how do you tell, when the actions of your leadership ask you to give up on your own feelings and to trust their's?

What would you choose if they told you not to love who you wanted?

Are you willing to stand by that through persecution and damnation?

I hope it is worth it then.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before either of you get wise and decide to retort, this was not inspired by you. So just breath, step back and take a nice long drink of STFU before you act or comment.

That's better.

I was on the verge of intervening with a friend tonight, to the point of crossing a line that I hope to never cross, and fail to respect as often as it needs.

But she's a trooper, she can take care of herself.

Though I don't agree with her decision, I have to respect the path of which she tread and the means by which she decided it.

She asked for a sign and believes that she got it. Who is anyone in the world to question that?

Certainly not me.

While I continue to disagree with the decision she makes in that regard. I do respect the WHY of why she made it.

Odd that the intangibilities in life are the most covetted and most real things in life so often...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Along these lines I'm posting someone else's repost from their blog.

I'm posting it in entirety to get the accuracy of the source material down.

Infer what you want from it. You will do that anyways:

Homophobia and You:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken awayfrom the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong




Now this one I am stepping in on.

Before you run out and make any inferences on anything, let me state that I don't necessarily support the above commented life styles.

That being said, there are two things that I am commenting on:

-The need for you to think and decide for yourself, what is right for yourself.
-A subpoint on this is that I would be very cautious indeed before I ever penned anything like this myself. This is a re-post and as such is prone to the writer's own bias for or against a particular viewpoint.


Second point:

Freedom of choice.

While I don't condone such acts, and will be very plain with that when asked about it. I am not going to stone you or beat you or so forth based off of what you do in those situations.

You shouldn't need fear anything from me.

It makes me uncomfortable, yes, but for more complex reasons then you would like to be smug in stating. Before you pretend to play the martyr and judge me, perhaps you best do your research. Afterall, isn't that all that you want from us?

I believe I have done that.

I believe that I have given plenty of thought and analysis to the subject, enough to make my own decision.

I will stand by that, and I will not hesitate to tell you that I don't agree with you and why if you should ask and if you should bring up a dissenting viewpoint.

I challenge you to be brave enough for the same.

When we discuss ideas, we only lose when we leave with angry hearts.

When we discuss ideas and come to an understanding, everyone wins.

A little bit of blatant Activism.

Now's your chance, you can be heard, and potentially signed up for much spam, too!

Click the act now link and send a message to our senators that we support a neutral internet.

I could go on some wingnut campaign on why this is important to our future generations and the like, but let's face it, I seriously, honestly believe that this is the first or the last of the great commercial opportunities that even the littlest of guys can hop onboard.

We need to keep it that way.

Mogwai!

Apparently it's been a long day at work.

I almost signed into something at work with a home password.

And I just about typed "localhost" as my password here.

For those of you that aren't me and/or have never worked on Capital One, that's the name of the host you connect to when remotely connected to someone's computer and installing via Marimba.

Because you cared.



But let's get down to business.

You know what's funny? Clowns.

I mean, c'mon. You have to know that by now.



I'm actually in the pre-show of a show that I'll prolly be starting myself. So this ought to be interesting. Interesting like a fox.




I actually have a bit to say and or mention, but this doesn't seem like the place to do it anymore, somehow.

Sorry folks. I guess the whole past due notice finally cashed in.



Speaking of past due, Sprint, the bastards, shut off my phone today.

While I no doubt deserved it as I refuse to pay my bill with them on time now, they could have at least texted me like they normally do, and given me a warning, but no. They didn't.

So here I am, phone all shut off until I turn it back on later tonight or something.



Bah.

So many things.

This is getting bah-thersome.

I mean really. I'm getting towards the attitude of my funk without the funk.

All of the same ideas are re-appearing less the funk.

It sucks, actually. I'm not the kind of person you want in this sort of "Live and let die." attitude. Not a happy thing at all.

Maybe it's just the music right now, but who knows.



In a bought of nerdiness, I spoke to a guy on the phone today that knows where to buy Video cards capable of supporting upwards of 16 monitors, however cool, I don't believe I'll join in that one, I'm thinking three works for me.

Also, my "200" GB hard drive has been resuscitated. Thanks to Bob. While I don't know that I necessarily buy the whole 5 mins answer, whatever. It's very necessary that I have it, currently. Also, since I botched the case while opening it, I have a nice 200 GB HD that I'll be throwing into my desktop when I decide to piece it out.

So there's all that.



Kinda fun and interesting stuff.

To round out my geeking out for the day, I'm still excited about my tourney this weekend. Hopefully the guy from Wizards won't be a total ass, but I'm not holding my breath...

And! I'm kicking around the idea of doing a Battle of Hoth massive miniatures eent, which would be really cool.

I'm now the owner of two AT-ATs and some custom terrain. It should be really freakin' cool if we put it together. AT-STs, AT ATs and snow troopers everywhere.

It will rock.

So, if you have SWs props that you think would fit well with a normal table top game, especially the blaster cannon towers from Hoth and stuff like that, I am very interested in talking to you/barrowing it.


Ok, I've waisted enough time, methinks.

Talk atcha later.

Editors note:

Coming to you later than written because blogspot decided to go down for maitenance during the middle of writing it. Posers.

Well... We're still here.

So "Satan's Day" can end with a note that we're all not going to die.

At least not yet.

That is unless something strikes us, me, or you, down while writing/reading this post.

That would be ironic.

Actually, I think it would ironic, if we were all made of iron, but that's beside the point.

Today wasn't all that different of a day, though it's early, early morning hours sucked as they were filled with the same "disease" that I thought was going to "kill" me back about two months ago.

Suffice it to say - the cafeteria is now off the menu.

Name a disease in the world that once it has purged your body, is gone with it?

Shut up. There may yet be one, but I think this is due to food poisoning. I hate to just say it, but c'mon, if you only knew the power of the dark side... Er... the hell I was going through.

Not fun.

I hate to say it, but I think that's what it is. Not to mention that sort of thing only happens once every several years, not twice in two months. So it's either that, or something faaar worse and not in my control. So I'm banking on that for now, we'll see in a little while.





What was fun, for me anyways, was the fact that Whitney and I have been together a month today. Huzzah. No, really, don't get up.

Yesterday, when we were planning it, it wasn't looking promising, until she reminded me what today was and I just had to do it.

I mean, c'mon. You just have to.

Tempt fate, stick it to the man, eat my shorts.

Ai carumba.

So yeah, we had a good time, at least I did, but not much I can do on a couple hours on a work night.

So yeah, it was good.

Flowers, dinner, she brought up that we should do some sparkling stuff, so yeah, a bottle of "hard stuff" and we're doing great.

It was awesome stuff, actually.

I had fun, like I said.

Though it was kinda short, don't want to get too greedy, I guess.

So eat that, Mr. Dude.

You won't be collecting on that bet today.

I'm gunna fight another day.

And now that It's 10 mins later on 06-07.

Good night, and good luck.

12:06 AM

Get down with the sickness.

Nothing gets the paranoia flowing like a good zombie movie.

Such a simple setting, the one that you're always familiar with.

Such a horrific thing, not knowing who you can trust, the enemy is your family, the dead need die twice.

Every simple sound becomes a foe. If you are not constantly on the alert, you won't have a fighting chance.

Your family? The enemy. Friends? The same.

What do you rely on when all that you have come to know is the enemy? What does your faith, your will, your strenght matter when all around you are trying to not only kill you, but turn you and eat your flesh.

Where is your wisdom now? How do you cope with such attrocities? What of honor and hope?

Where is there hope when the dead try to kill you? Everyone is trying to kill you.

What then?

Really good stuff, actually. I needed that. I think I'm done though. It was nice to get through it again. But not a movie I like to watch with my back to an open window, an empty room.

An interesting thing, when you realize that if it happened now, there's nothing you could do. No preperations, no chance to survive.

It makes you wonder how absolute your absolutes are when nothing matters anymore. Where does all of your experience and all of that which you value lead you in total disaster, in total chaos?

It's nice. I miss movies that, simply watching them, builds an addrenaline rush.

I needed this one.






Saturday is chalking up to be a good day, methinks. Mehopes anyways.

It's the day of my long awaited tournament and it looks like I will be given a great many wonderful things that day.

For sweet!



Anyways, I should attempt to do something more usefull than my family's tech support. TTYL.

Let's get these circles in a wagon, Pilgrim.

Yeah...

Um...

Yeah...

So today my cousin graduated.

She's almost officially free.

She would be officially free if she were 18, which will happen in 9 days, not that we're rushing it.

She's leaving for Hawaii, how kick ass is that? And she'll be turning 18 there.

It was interesting. More proof that I'm an old man.

I was watching the graduation of people that I haven't seen since 7th grade, pretty much.

I was in 9th grade, they were Sevies.

Wierd as hell.

They're all grown up now, that's really odd to me.

Leaders in their own right, some of them.

Interesting to see.

Ironic that she should graduate from the highschool I started with.

If I hadn't, if we hadn't, moved to Layton, I could have been there. I could have helped her out, hung out with her.

So many differences.

Parallel universe indeed.

Bah, anyways.

If I wasn't tired and annoyed I would write something.

But, I'm tired and annoyed.

I just need to breath.

That is all.

The Chair is Against the Wall.

The snake is in the grass.

So in an effort to pin down a training ground for me and my bow, I called Layton Police tonight.

I just want to know if it's legal to shoot it in my backyard (ok, honestly, I'm thinking not, but if it's possible, then I want to know).

All of the legal codes reference knives and firearms, but no bows.

So I find their number and call them.

Now they're on to me.

Sheesh.

I call, and the gals, like... "I don't know for sure, but I would say no. But if you give me your address and phone number I can have an officer call you back."

It's a trap!

Now they know!

But I'll be glad to know.

So once I find out, you will too, naturally.

Anyways.

Breaking News!

Sike, just a joke. Enjoy:

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Osama is
still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in
his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.

Kennedy opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of
coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his
aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one
could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.

With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Britain's MI-6
for help.

Within a minute MI-6 cabled back with this reply: "Tell the FBI
that Kennedy's holding the message upside down."

Spontaneous Combustion.

*kaboom*

You don't know it, but it's all over man.

Spontaneously.

Combustively.

Explosively.

This is what you'll be reading by this time next week, if I were alive after the events to post it.

See, there's this Karma thing, and it's going to eat me.

I'm moving from a negative (-) karma to a postitive (+) or at least neutral (0) karma.

When two diametrically opposing karma's meet, least of all in the same person, it's not a good day.

For either participant.

So here's the warning:

I might explode next week and take half of Utah, if not the world with me.

Not that I'm getting cocky or antything, but it's been a rather pleasant week.

That bothers me. I feel that if I had these sorts of powers I could use them a little better.

It's been a very self-serving week.

I feel bad for my counter-weight...

Thank you, whoever you are.

Evolution Complete.

Evolution of Dance